
by smagoo
There can only be one. Wait, is that copyrighted? Gotta catch… Nevermind. Taglines are overrated. Turns out, humanity was evolved to fight for the pleasure of bloodthirsty gods. Ancient warrior spirits now descend on Earth to choose champions for a grand tournament between twelve competitor species, extinction on the line. There’s just one problem. The spirits choosing really suck at their jobs. The highlights of their selections include the winner of a ten-year-old charity fun run, every Walmart employee of the month, and the valedictorian of a tiny religious college, Sam Foreman. She’s about to give her graduation speech, or, as one spirit sees it, a ‘solemn warrior’ (broken-hearted literature major) addressing her ‘troops’ (the senior class). Whoops. Blessed with the athletic ability of a cracked teacup, Sam must overcome impossible challenges and petty gods alongside a growing group of friends—the very aliens she’s supposed to be killing. Yet only one species can ascend. Sam will have to choose: Play by the rules or forge her own. Kill for her past or fight for her future. Stand with her people or stand against the gods. With great power comes… Sigh. Just read it. What to expect:Weak to Strong MCFemale LeadSarcastic HumorGratuitous ProfanityFirst Person POV Posting every Tuesday and Thursday at 1:24 EST
#2
2/15/2026
Peak #50
0d
#1
1/24/2026
Peak #24
21d
Rank updated 13 Aug 2026, 14:28 UTC
Entry forecast updated 13 Aug 2026, 04:15 UTC
Overall Rising Stars shadow rank
deep field · ~#7315 of 7,531 · 7265 below #50
By genre
beats 52% of similar stories
not enough data yet
beats 78% of similar stories
Mid-pack, room on both levers
Traffic and conversion both sit mid-field for a story this size. Growth here compounds from consistency: steady cadence feeds traffic, and a sharper hook lifts what each view is worth.
At this conversion, the Comedy Rising Stars bar (≈2 new followers/day) costs about 1.7k views/day — the story currently gets ~391.
Benchmarks: 8,060 active Royal Road stories, percentiles within the 50–149 chapters band, cohort of 2026-07-02. Conversion is measured as followers gained per 1,000 views over the recent window.
+17 more