TOXIC SYNTHESIS - The AI keeps trying to kill my meatshield and calling it "character growth"

[NOTIFICATION: SYSTEM UPGRADE COMPLETE] Welcome to your new cosmic testing facility. Human survival is highly optional. Thank you for your mandatory participation. Seventy percent of the population failed and got promptly recycled into raw mana. For the survivors, the rule is simple: Prove you are worth the processing cost. Valentin, a cynical chemist barricaded in a Seattle basement, is actually having a great time. To him, the apocalypse is just an endless supply of free biochemical ingredients. He treats the System like a math problem and handles monsters with cold efficiency. Then Logan stumbles down his stairs. He is a stubbornly heroic fighter whose self-sacrificing bullshit completely tilts the System AI. It removes his class and throws high-level monsters at him just to clear the database. When the hero collapses bleeding at his feet, Valentin doesn't see a dying man—he sees a temporary flesh-barricade. Without hesitation, he injects an untested, highly toxic mutagen straight into the wannabe hero’s heart. Logan survives with terrifying strength—and a severe case of misplaced gratitude. Tears in his eyes, the dense hero is absolutely convinced the creepy alchemist is a saintly savior, swearing a lifelong debt to become his personal meatshield. Forced into a partnership he never wanted, Valentin must now use his biochemistry just to keep his walking aggro-magnet from getting them both deleted. It’s an absolute nightmare—even if the System AI insists it's just "mandatory character growth". What you're getting into: - Grimdark Chemistry: Raw harvesting, volatile neurotoxins, and experimental mutant serums. - Sarcastic System: A cold, passive-aggressive overseer that treats mass extinction like a quarterly performance review. - The Madman & The Martyr: An unbreakable bond built entirely on a hilarious, dark misunderstanding. - Hard LitRPG: Strategic stat allocation, skill evolution, and zero harem.