Titanspawn: An Accidental Raid Boss LitRPG

Chase is the undisputed heavyweight world champion of normalcy (keyword: heavyweight).He has a job, pays his taxes, has no wife, and at thirty-two, his only real social outlet is a crippling late-night addiction to the VRMMORPG Mythbane 2: Titanomachia.What? That's normal nowadays, right?It's not?Uh, moving on. One bad decision later, he’s a twelve-foot, four-ton, gill-having, water-breathing, wheeling-dealing behemoth of a unit stuck permanently cosplaying as a walking shipwreck. To make matters worse, the prick of a system didn't even have the common decency to gift him a human tongue to speak the local localese.He doesn't want trouble, but trouble seems to want him. He's a good guy. He has a 401(k) to get back to, a solid credit score, and a halfway paid-off crossover SUV sitting in a nice (correction: not so nice) suburban driveway.All he really wants to do is find the nearest customer support representative and ask where the emergency exit is.Too bad this new and improved Mythbane doesn't seem to do customer service.As an added complimentary bonus, he washed ashore in a freezing bay run by a fanatical church whose entire doctrine boils down to: if it's big, black, and has gills, it's God. And when God comes closer, you turn around and bend over... in worship, of course.Chase is just trying to be neighborly, but nobody seems to be getting the hint.Between paranoid inquisitors manning dreadnought airships dropping bombs on his forehead (and the surrounding ten-mile radius), creepy doomsday cultists chucking live heifers at his feet in worship, greedy mercenary guilds hunting a mythical bounty, a looming imperial border war, and, let's not forget, a whole Beastkin invasion, he is, ironically for someone with gills, completely out of his depth.He isn't trying to conquer the world. He’s just tired, lonely, and sorely in need of central air conditioning with a side order of a friend or two, but now he's accidentally playing everybody's final boss.Well, too bad for them: he’s already ugly, but for anyone dumb enough to actually make a move, things are going to get downright nasty.Schedule: Daily chapters!Protagonist: A very large, very corrosive TemplarDamage Profile: Acid, rot, sheer hubris, and four tons of localized collision weightWorld: Cults, paranoid religions, forgotten Titan mythology, and scale factor theorySplish splosh.