Second World Problems

Waking up in a cave as part of a kidnapped group was not a part of the agenda. With only a vague warning simply not to die, and no sign of the kidnappers, can anyone else even be trusted? Wait, is that a skill? Is that a status page? Did we just get isekai'd, and is that kid over there the summoned hero? I guess if I'm going to survive this quest telling me to survive, I'm going to stick with him and the harem he's already started gathering, and just hope for the best. Wait, did he just... Why does this other world seem like it's in early access? The intended goal of this story is to include as many tropes as I can, subverting them if possible as a bit of satirical deconstruction of japanese isekai, western portal fantasy and the fantasy genre as a whole, while still being an original story. I also thought it would be fun as a challenge to go as long as I can without giving the main character a name.