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The Villain Would Like a Desk Job

The Villain Would Like a Desk Job

by Fields of Ink

Anti-Villain LeadApocalypseArtificial IntelligenceComedyCompeting Love Interest

Duan Shuchen has a bipolar System, a doomed Villain role, two protagonists who refuse to follow the plot, and one suspiciously attractive male rival who keeps ruining every single one of his evil plans. Clearly, he has transmigrated into a terrible novel. His objective is simple: Be evil. Fix the plot. Get the Hero and Heroine back together. Avoid dying. Secure a stable office job with benefits. Unfortunately, the System is malfunctioning, the protagonists are conspiring against him, and his so-called rival has enough unresolved sexual tension with him to constitute false advertising. But mark my words: You were DEFINITELY told in the synopsis that this is NOT a BL. So whatever happens next is between you, Fate, and your own poor reading comprehension. What to expect: Cultivation-world bureaucracyGenre-savvy crack comedy with an actual plotFound familyAn exhausted Villain who would genuinely prefer administrative workA Hero who keeps getting dragged into terrible romance tropesIdentity mysteries and reality-breaking SystemsRomance hidden underneath mutual antagonism

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Peak Rank
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Followers
5
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Story Timeline

Started

1mo ago

OverviewViews and follower statisticsEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
3
0
FVR
0.15%
Rating
N/A
Ratings
3
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Reviews
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Comments
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RS Days
0
Total Chapters
61
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Chapter 1: A Reasonable Explanation for Being Dead—----
2Chapter 2: Villainy Is Apparently a Public Service—----
3Side Quest: My Evil Organization Has Unionized—----
4Chapter 3: The Main Couple Has Already Conducted the Experiment—----
5Side Quest: Kidnapping the Heroine Requires Less Consent Than This—---
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6Chapter 4: The Secondary Villain Has Boundary Issues—----
7Side Quest: The White Lotus Has Not Done Her Research—----
8Side Quest: My System Has No Beginner Package and I Would Like to Speak to Management—----
9Chapter 5: A Villain Requires Better Colleagues—----
10Side Quest: Public Slapping Is Apparently a Governance Tool—----
11Chapter 6: The Contract Marriage Is Not Helping—----
12Side Quest: The Tournament Arc Fails Because Nobody Will Win Correctly—----
13Chapter 7: The Misunderstanding Arc Is Easily Defeated by Basic Listening Skills—----
14Side Quest: I Pretend to Have Amnesia Once and Everyone Handles It Very Poorly—----
15Chapter 8: Amnesia Is Not a Personality Trait—----
16Side Quest: Terminal Illness Has Arrived Several Hundred Chapters Early—----
17Chapter 9: My Career Goals Are Modest and Everyone Else Is Wrong—----
18Chapter 10: If This Is Queerbaiting, It Has Become Legally Actionable—----
19Side Quest: Someone Is Kneeling in the Rain and It Had Better Not Be for Me—----
20Chapter 11: The Duke of the North Arrives From a North We Do Not Have—----
21Side Quest: The Evil Stepmother Has Been Assigned to the Wrong Household—----
22Chapter 12: The Castle Has One Bed and I Have Several Complaints—----
23Side Quest: The Aphrodisiac Cave Arc Is Defeated by Literacy—----
24Side Quest: Secondary Gender, Primary Headache—----
25Chapter 13: I Cannot Have Three Secret Bloodlines; That Is Greedy—----
26Side Quest: I Apparently Have a Seven-Year-Old Son—----
27Side Quest: The Regressor Remembers Seven Futures and Is Wrong About Lunch—----
28Chapter 14: I Finally Obtain Gainful Employment—----
29Chapter 15: My Performance Review Is the Happiest Day of My Life—----
30Chapter 16: Hostile Takeover Means Something Different Here—----
31Chapter 17: The Auction House Has a Strict No-Murder Policy, Which Feels Personal—----
32Chapter 18: Messages From Some Idiot—----
33Side Quest: The System Requests Feedback and Immediately Regrets It—----
34Chapter 19: I Have Apparently Inherited a Wife—----
35Chapter 20: This Is Probably Not Adultery—----
36Chapter 21: The Western Palace—----
37Chapter 22: The Notebook Was Not My Idea—----
38Chapter 23: The Man I Kissed Is Bleeding and I Have Questions—----
39Chapter 24: The Household Registry Is Having a Worse Week Than I Am—----
40Chapter 25: The Black Seal—----
41Chapter 26: There Is No Secondary Villain—----
42Chapter 27: This Is Why We Read the Fine Print—----
43Chapter 28: She Stole My Job, My Gendered Narrative Function, and Apparently My Death—----
44Side Quest: I Attempt to Resign as the Villain and Discover Fate Has No Exit Interview—----
45Chapter 29: The Villain Is Almost Her—----
46Chapter 30: I Have Been Dead More Often Than I Have Been Employed—----
47Chapter 31: My Funeral Was Poorly Organized—----
48Chapter 32: My Résumé Fails Background Check—----
49Chapter 33: The First Time We Tried to End the Story—----
50Chapter 34: My Numbers Have Apparently Been Wrong This Entire Time—----
51Chapter 35: Defection Does Not Include Housing—----
52Chapter 36: The Contract Marriage Has Acquired a Southern Window—----
53Chapter 37: The Man Who Is Almost Nobody—----
54Chapter 38: The Day I Could Not Find Home—----
55Chapter 39: A Dinner for Remembering—----
56Chapter 40: This Is Not Living—----
57Chapter 41: Tea Gone Cold—----
58Chapter 42: Returning the Villain Requires Form 17-B—----
59Chapter 43: The Worst Story Ever Written Finally Becomes Useful—----
60Chapter 45: No Sequel—----
61ERROR: One User Remains—----