
by Timmyjames
This was supposed to be a book about traveling around America in an old blue bus. However, while on a physical journey for 2 yrs, I was also exploring my inner world. My subconscious. The book, which was not supposed to have any of this( at the time I thought I was going insane, and was not going to talk about it) other journey. However it wormed its way into the book and actually took it over. When the journey started I had recently lost my brother, mother, and father. Each passed away about a year apart from each other. I was lost, vary over weight, and riddled with gout. No plan, a dog, and a rental car, I hit the open road. After a month of driving and seeing some of the country, I found it, my freedom, a 2006 e450 super duty blue bus. With my wrist, knees, and toes swollen and atrophied, I set about putting in a floor, and a raised bed. It was not easy, and I am very grateful to have serviced the build with all my fingers intact. Ready for the open road, some nice state parks,and to get out hiking, well as much as I could, I set out. What I did not expect was to find myself standing on the deck of a space ship flying though my subconscious, building rooms and tools to tackle my mental state. I had stumbled into active imagination without any knowledge of it, and completely unguided. While I thought I was losing my mind, I was actually breaking it down and building it back up from pretty much the ground level. It was terrifying, and hurtful, but once I got to the other side, I felt much better. Things that had made no sense in my life had now become clearer. And the way the world truly worked became much clearer too. This is not a how-to book, but I think reading about my journey through the darkness will maybe help others find their way and help them learn to let go and trust the process. Help them understand that in order to communicate with the subconscious there needs to be some symbolism, and that it, at least for me, was not a linear trip. I ran into dead ends, and wrong answers. Each wrong answer taught me something, and ultimately helped me find the right path.
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