The Heavenly Dao Has An HR Department?

This story is about [Name Redacted], an ordinary office worker who gets transported into a generic, badly translated Xianxia world full of arrogant Young Masters, jade beauties, hypocritical righteous sects, and cultivation systems that stop making sense the moment you ask a follow-up question—The heck you mean "Name Redacted"?I HAVE A NAME.It's Caelan MacGregor.You literally wrote it three seconds ago before deleting it because apparently I'm "more mysterious" this way.I watched you press Backspace.I'm standing behind your chair, you talentless gremlin.Anyway...Caelan soon discovers that this world is governed by the Heavenly Dao, where strength is everything and only the strong survive—Shut up. Nobody survives here because everyone has the IQ of wet cardboard.The Young Masters offend every stranger they meet.The elders watch crimes happen and call it "junior competition."People meditate by standing on one leg for nine hours because apparently that's "defying the heavens."The sky is literally a vibrating blue square.And everyone talks like a machine translation having a nervous breakdown."You can't see Mt. Tai." Brother...We're sitting inside a tavern.Fortunately, Caelan receives a mysterious cheat capable of helping him overcome every obstacle—No I absolutely don't. This clown gave me an unfinished developer build called Patch Notes v0.3 Alpha. Every time I witness a plot hole or read dialogue that looks like it survived six rounds of Google Translate, it deducts my lifespan to generate bug reports.Do you have any idea how quickly I'm dying?With his newfound power, Caelan sets out to conquer the cultivation world, gather loyal companions, collect jade beauties, and eventually challenge the Heavens themselves—Absolutely not. I'm unionizing the cannon fodder. I'm filing workplace harassment claims against Immortal Patriarchs.I'm auditing heavenly tribulations for safety violations.I'm demanding overtime pay for outer disciples.I'm reporting every sect leader who keeps recruiting children into life-threatening death tournaments.And if the Heavenly Dao really runs this disaster......it's getting reported to HR.(Welcome to the only Xianxia where the protagonist isn't trying to become the strongest cultivator.He's trying to fix the author's catastrophic workplace violations before reality itself gets sued.)(Note: Don't take this novel too seriously its a parody novel. If you want something serious read something else this novel is gonna be absurd as anything, but if you enjoy these types of novel, welcome.)