Be Good, Satan!

He did his stint in Hell. He completed his Repent/Repeat cycles in Purgatory. He even spent his summers grinding community service hours in Davy Jones’ Locker Room.  Now, ready to trade his Level 6 Horns for a Level 7 Halo, he arrives at The Stairway to Heaven—only to find a line the length of the Great Wall of China, a thunderous snore racking the cosmos, and a flustered intern struggling to explain the [Do Not Disturb] message blocking the pearly gates. And had he not been a changed man, Lucifer—yes, that one—would’ve bulldozed his way to the front of the line, hopped the gates, and filed his Reincarnation Request himself, forged signature and all. But no, no. He’s gonna do things the right way this time.  That is, he’ll wait patiently until everyone falls asleep, borrow the keycard from the intern, politely creep over the barrier... then up the stairs… and...