Arthur the Drywaller, or: How God Got Bored on a Tuesday

A bored cosmic entity decided to run an experiment: take one completely ordinary man, grant him unlimited, time-released godlike power, and withhold the brains to notice. For science. It picked Arthur. Thirty-eight. Plumber by trade, drywaller by side-hustle, philosopher by accident. Arthur has since punched a hole in the moon, carried his truck home like a clutch purse, adopted an eight-hundred-pound grizzly under the impression that it's a very large dog, and reduced two world capitals to rubble — without once suspecting it might be him. Obviously it's the cheap foreign-made bolts. Thecity has been cutting corners for years. The Pentagon thinks he's an act of war. Russia thinks he's MacGyver. Arthur thinks he needs a nap and a thermos that doesn't crumble. A complete comedic novelette about the single most dangerous thing in the universe: a working man who refuses to believe the problem is him.