I Kicked the Bucket Once, I’m Not Doing It Again!

"If there’s one bloody thing I’ve learned in my long, miserable life, it’s that your own wife will sell you down the river for a few silver coins. Eldar was a simple man. He spent his life living hand-to-mouth, catching ordinary fish just to keep his ribs from meeting his spine. He expected a quiet, unremarkable death. He certainly didn't expect his treacherous wife to poison his wine, and he definitely didn't expect to wake up under a bruised, eggplant-purple sky with a hunger that could swallow a whale. He didn't get any god-given powers. He didn't get a grand destiny. He just got a lake full of bizarre fish with scales sharp as shattered glass, and a world where high-and-mighty tyrants drive folk into the bowels of the earth to mine magic stones. The universe might want a hero, but Eldar is just a grumpy old sod. He doesn’t care about empires, rebellion, or magic. He just wants to patch his net, keep his fire lit, and be left bloody well alone. Too bad the world has other plans."