I Must Write Slop or My Heart Will Stop!

Coming soon!Jayden Parker-Hayes is an average teenager with an ordinary problem: he wrote a terrible webnovel chapter as a joke... but then it started performing too well. Views on his story "My Daily Quests as a Necromancer: Lone Wolf Reborn in Another World (with an Infinite Harem System)" spike overnight, and engagement metrics soar to heights never before seen. The system watching him decides that low-quality and addictive content is no longer just entertainment, but the very thing that decides his survival. A corporate-style “content management system” appears in his life, treating his storytelling as pure engagement metrics. At its center is Celestine Ashveil, an “engagement optimization assistant” who insists that Jayden msut continue writing slop, or his heart will stop. Trapped between algorithmic pressure, tropes, and his own collapsing sense of creative and self-control, Jayden is forced to do the unthinkable: write utter garbage to stay alive. A satirical system-style webnovel that parodies LitRPG and progression tropes, as well as AI-generated quantity over quality culture. This story is a satire of algorithm-driven storytelling and not targeted at any specific author or work.