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STUBBED - I Can't Believe I Have to Defeat the Demon Lord to Pay Off My Student Loans (Welcome to the Rift Series)

STUBBED - I Can't Believe I Have to Defeat the Demon Lord to Pay Off My Student Loans (Welcome to the Rift Series)

by GoblinWrangler

ActionAdventureContemporaryDungeon CrawlerDystopia
Shadow rank ~#595 in Contemporary↓6

MercSecure will pay off your student loans. All of them. In less than six months. All you have to do is sign the contract, take the elevator, and survive the Rift—a monster-filled realm with a stat system that tracks every kill, loot drops with backstories written by a brainrot AI desperate to keep you entertained, and a floating fortress ruled by the Demon Lord. Who isn't the enemy. He's the contractor's most valuable partner. Dylan Ryan owes $447,000 in student debt he inherited from his dead parents at age eleven. He signed without reading. So did his best friend Rosaria. So did Lauren from HR, who once wrote him up for being late and is now holding a plastic wand that shoots fire. They're given weapons they don't know how to use and assignments they can hardly fathom. Week one is a tutorial. Week two, the missions change. Armed with a trash-tier build, a team held together by gallows humor, and the kind of desperation only six figures of inherited debt can buy, Dylan has one goal: claw his way back to zero. Because in this economy, being broke isn't just brutal—it's fatal. NOTE: for the Amazon/Audible release that starts on Sept 22, the title has changed to Welcome to the Rift. You can preorder that here. What to expect: *Portal Fantasy LitRPG with stat progression, loot, and a brainrot system *Party-based combat and found-family dynamics *Dark humor that gets darker as the missions escalate *Corporate dystopia that runs on debt, drones, and performance reviews *No harem. Character-driven.  *3 Chapters a week at 4:47PM EST, ahead on Patreon

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Changes shown for: last 90d
24h7d30d90dAll
Current Rank
#50
Peak Rank
#1
Followers
607
+93
Story Timeline

Started

4mo ago

Tracking

4mo ago

Entered Contemporary RS

4mo ago

#1 Contemporary

4mo ago

100

4mo ago

Entered Action RS

3mo ago

#40 Action

3mo ago

Entered Fantasy RS

3mo ago

#48 Fantasy

3mo ago

Entered Adventure RS

3mo ago

#50 Adventure

3mo ago

Left Fantasy RS

3mo ago

OverviewViews and follower statisticsEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
146
+43
FVR
1.92%
Rating
4.20
Ratings
44
+15
Reviews
N/A
0
Comments
N/A
0
RS Days
184
Total Chapters
110
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Chapter One: Debt-to-Income Ratio0----
2Chapter Two: Congratulations, You Now Have Security Clearance0----
3Chapter Three: Equip Now or Die Later0----
4Chapter Four: Welcome to the Rift0----
5Chapter Five: Obviously, Don’t Go Around Stabbing Yourself in the Stomach0---
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6End of Book One - Please leave a rating/review!0----
7Chapter Fifty-Seven: Decompression - Start of Book 20----
8Chapter Fifty-Eight: The Rift Calls0----
9Chapter Fifty-Nine: Operation Divine Intervention0----
10Chapter Sixty: Mad Dog0----
11Chapter Sixty-One: Brain-Rotted Internet Goblin0----
12Chapter Sixty-Two: Do They Have Lasers?0----
13Chapter Sixty-Three: Easy Way to Die on a Monday0----
14Chapter Sixty-Four: A Snake a Day Keeps the Demon Lord Away0----
15Chapter Sixty-Five: Dress Down0----
16GRANT Terminal Session 1 : Please Hold While We Process Your Incompetence0----
17Chapter Sixty-Six: Burn It All Down Tomorrow0----
18Sector Two Brief0----
19Chapter Sixty-Seven: Barbecue-Toast0----
20Chapter Sixty-Eight: Dinger and Samantha Cross the Wire0----
21Chapter Sixty-Nine: Don’t Punch Me0----
22Chapter Seventy: From Caracas to the Rift0----
23Chapter Seventy-One: So There’s That0----
24Chapter Seventy-Two: Stay Frosty0----
25Chapter Seventy-Three: Scroll Out0----
26Chapter Seventy-Four: Of Course, There’s an Ancient Protocol0----
27Chapter Seventy-Five: Mum’s the Word0----
28GRANT Terminal Session 2 : You’re Doing Great (Statistically Speaking)0----
29Chapter Seventy-Six: Two Guys Wearing Sweatbands Going At It0----
30Chapter Seventy-Seven: Pig Latin0----
31New release from Harmon Cooper (aka Goblinwrangler) - Introducing... The Man Who Captured Fire!0----
32Chapter Seventy-Eight: BBQ on the Steppe0----
33Chapter Seventy-Nine: Not That Herd0----
34Chapter Eighty: Lauren Jitsu0----
35Chapter Eighty-One: Scorpion Henge0----
36Chapter Eighty-Two: Unalive and/or Eff the Demon Lord—----
37Chapter Eighty-Three: Almost Sexting—----
38Chapter Eighty-Four: Life’s A Gas—----
39Chapter Eighty-Five: Complimentary Upgrade—----
40Chapter Eighty-Six: Welcome to the Rift—----
41Welcome to the Rift Pre-Order—----
42Chapter Eighty-Seven: The Devil Wears Nada—----
43Chapter Eighty-Eight: It Could Kill a Turtle—----
44Chapter Eighty-Nine: Contractor Likeability and Operational Utility Tracking—----
45Chapter Ninety: No Biz Like Show Biz—----
46Chapter Ninety-One: Amuse-Bouche—----
47Chapter Ninety-Two: MAN-Tain—----
48Chapter Ninety-Three: Heartbreak Hotel—----
49Chapter Ninety-Four: Lipstick on a Pig—----
50Chapter Ninety-Five: Sun Allergy—----
51Welcome to the Rift is out now!—----
52Chapter Ninety-Six: Doing It for the CLOUT—----
53Chapter Ninety-Seven: Bidu—----
54GRANT Terminal Session 3 : Resilience Is Just Surviving Poor Decisions—----
55Chapter Six: Level Zero0----
56Chapter Seven: Somebody, Sloth Me0----
57Chapter Eight: I Did Not Sign Up for This0----
58Chapter Nine: Haunted Jukebox Incident0----
59Chapter Ten: Pay to Play0----
60GRANT Terminal Session 1 : Embrace Your Optimized Potential0----
61Chapter Eleven: What Are You in For?0----
62Chapter Twelve: Meal Team Six0----
63Chapter Thirteen: No Wi-Fi in the Rift0----
64Chapter Fourteen: Hammer Time0----
65Chapter Fifteen: FML0----
66Chapter Sixteen: Zombie Punch0----
67Chapter Seventeen: Belly Flop0----
68Chapter Eighteen: We Really Need a Healer0----
69Chapter Nineteen: Meat, Tomato, and Noodles0----
70Chapter Twenty: Bridge Over Troubled Waters0----
71Chapter Twenty-One: I Will Not Be Warmed!0----
72Chapter Twenty-Two: Pouches0----
73Chapter Twenty-Three: The Roots Are on Fire0----
74Chapter Twenty-Four: Consanguineous Loot0----
75Chapter Twenty-Five: Let Them Eat Cake0----
76Pizza Party Pamphlet0----
77Chapter Twenty-Six: Pets Get Euthanized0----
78Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Fireside with Kalex Harp: Data, Destiny, and the Death of Choice0----
79Chapter Twenty-Eight: Keep Austin Weird0----
80Chapter Twenty-Nine: War Crimes for Breakfast0----
81Chapter Thirty: Occam’s Snake0----
82Chapter Thirty-One: Frostbite0----
83GRANT Terminal Session 3 : Wow, Still Alive? Bold Choice0----
84Chapter Thirty-Three: Set Up for Success0----
85Chapter Thirty-Four: Eff the System0----
86Chapter Thirty-Five: Fungal Dungeon Seems Like a Tuesday Thing to Me0----
87Chapter Thirty-Six: Mating Season0----
88GRANT Terminal Session 4 : Maybe You Aren’t as Suck as I Think You Are0----
89Chapter Thirty-Seven : Miyajima0----
90Chapter Thirty-Eight: The Gifts We Give Kings0----
91Chapter Thirty-Nine: Assassin Cosplay0----
92Chapter Forty: Agent Sarah and the Hallucinating Witches0----
93Chapter Forty-One: Sound Work0----
94Chapter Forty-Two: Divide and Conquer0----
95GRANT Terminal Session 2 : Please Select Your Flavor of Failure0----
96Chapter Forty-Three: Late for Class0----
97Chapter Forty-Four: One Wild Ride0----
98Chapter Forty-Five: I’m Too Young to Die in Some Other Realm0----
99Chapter Forty-Six: Feed the Beast0----
100Chapter Forty-Seven: Another Day, Another Dollar0----
101Chapter Forty-Eight: Prairie Dogs from Hell0----
102Chapter Forty-Nine: Playing the Victim0----
103Chapter Fifty: Flaming Chokepoint0----
104GRANT Terminal Session 5 : Congratulations, You’ve Leveled Mediocrity!0----
105Chapter Fifty-One: Princess Basilisk0----
106Chapter Fifty-Two: The Secrets Behind MMD0----
107Chapter Fifty-Three: Take the L0----
108Chapter Fifty-Four: They Who Fight with Monsters0----
109Chapter Fifty-Five: The Best Defense0----
110Chapter Fifty-Six: Debrief - End of Book 10----