Concordance Casualty: Planetary Onboarding Failure

Ethan Lane’s long-term life plan involved surviving community college, avoiding eye contact, and eventually evolving into a fully formed cubicle larvae. Then the sky announced that Earth had been inducted into the Federated Worlds’ Concordance under Emergency Preservation Protocol. Unfortunately, “preservation” came with mandatory reporting requirements, planetary mana saturation, reality-breaking mutations, and a seven-day deadline to reach the nearest Authority Education & Training Facility before punitive enforcement began. Now suburbs are turning into death zones, wildlife is mutating into nightmare fuel, and humanity’s new alien overlords insist this is all technically an improvement. Armed with an enchanted janitor’s broom, weaponized social awkwardness, and absolutely no qualifications for any of this, Ethan sets out toward Hartford alongside his best friend Mars, whose golf clubs have become alarmingly magical, and Grace Polaski, a former teacher who seems far too competent for the end of the world. The Authority believes power must obey rules. Ethan is starting to become a problem. REPORT TO YOUR LOCAL CONCORDANCE SYSTEM HUB