by Imaginista
Sixteenth-century China meets twenty-first-century Florida in this full-coverage retelling of Wu Cheng'en's *Journey to the West* — narrated by a translator who is six Yuenglings deep on a Wednesday afternoon and absolutely committed to the project. Every cosmology lecture, every poem, every fruit list, every dialogue line of the original is preserved. What changes is the voice. Heaven is run by Greg the Jade Emperor. Yama waits at the cosmic DMV with a clipboard. The Twelve Earthly Branches are a crew of Florida idiots named Ziggy, Chowder, Yenny, and Shoe. Pangu becomes compost. The Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors get explained between sips. A stone monkey is born from a magic boulder, claims a kingdom behind a waterfall, and sets out across the sea to learn the secret of immortality from whoever will teach him.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Chapter 1 · Part 1 of 3 — Cosmology Lecture, Pangu's Compost, and a Stone Has a Baby | 0 |
| 2 | Chapter 1 · Part 2 of 3 — Greg's Bad Day, the Waterfall, and the New Monkey King | 0 |
| 3 | Chapter 1 · Part 3 of 3 — Three Hundred Years of Peace, Then Reality Knocks | 0 |
| 4 | Chapter 2 · Part 1 of 5 — The Wizard School (Yes, We Sweep First) | 0 |
| 5 | Chapter 2 · Part 2 of 5 — The Four Gates and Subby's Coded Meltdown | 0 |
| 6 | Chapter 2 · Part 3 of 5 — The Cosmic Patch Notes and Three Calamities | 0 |
| 7 | Chapter 2 · Part 4 of 5 — You're Cooked, Kid (Pine Tree to Cartwheel Home) | 0 |
| 8 | Chapter 2 · Part 5 of 5 — Old Sun Deletes a Demon From the Map | 0 |
| 9 | Chapter 3 · Part 1 of 4 — Drilling Monkeys, Looting an Entire Capital With a Tornado | 0 |
| 10 | Chapter 3 · Part 2 of 4 — The Dragon Palace Heist (Bro Walks Out Wearing the Loot) | 0 |
| 11 | Chapter 3 · Part 3 of 4 — Drunk Sleep, Crashes Hell, Bro Personally Edits the Book of Life and death | 0 |
| 12 | Chapter 3 · Part 4 of 4 — Greg Reads His Email and Botches Threat Assessment Number Two | 0 |
| 13 | Chapter 4 · Part 1 of 5 — The Job Interview From Hell (a.k.a. Welcome to Heavenly HR) | 0 |
| 14 | Chapter 4 · Part 2 of 5 — The Bimawen Sting (Bro Fattens Horses For Free) | 0 |
| 15 | Chapter 4 · Part 3 of 5 — Bro Promotes Himself (Cosmic LinkedIn Influencer Edition) | 0 |
| 16 | Chapter 4 · Part 4 of 5 — Fight Card: Giant vs. Old Sun, Then Tween General vs. Old Sun | 0 |
| 17 | Chapter 4 · Part 5 of 5 — Greg Botches It TWICE (Cosmic Plea Deal of the Century) | 0 |
| 18 | Chapter 5 · Part 1 of 5 — Greg Hires Bro for Peach Orchard Duty (DO NOT. STOP.) | 0 |
| 19 | Chapter 5 · Part 2 of 5 — Seven Fairies, One Mini-Monkey, Zero Invites | 0 |
| 20 | Chapter 5 · Part 3 of 5 — Bro Speedruns Three Crimes Before Lunch (Banquet, Wine, Elixir) | 0 |
| 21 | Chapter 5 · Part 4 of 5 — Greg's Inbox Filing Cabinet Catches Fire | 0 |
| 22 | Chapter 5 · Part 5 of 5 — 100,000 vs. 1 (Bro Goes 1-0 On Day One) | 0 |
| 23 | Chapter 6 · Part 1 of 5 — Guanyin Returns from Vacation to a Crime Scene | 0 |
| 24 | Chapter 6 · Part 2 of 5 — Moksha vs. Old Sun (Guanyin's Intern Goes Sixty Rounds) | 0 |
| 25 | Chapter 6 · Part 3 of 5 — Erlang vs. Old Sun, the 300-Round Opening Set | 0 |
| 26 | Chapter 6 · Part 4 of 5 — The Pokémon Duel of the Millennium | 0 |
| 27 | Chapter 6 · Part 5 of 5 — Laozi Drops the Diamond Snare (Bro Finally Gets Caught) | 0 |
| 28 | Chapter 7 · Part 1 of 5 — Bro Beats Death Row (Cosmic Execution Is Now His Side Hobby) | 0 |
| 29 | Chapter 7 · Part 2 of 5 — Forty-Nine Days in the Cosmic Smoker (Bro Speedruns Eye Surgery) | 0 |
| 30 | Chapter 7 · Part 3 of 5 — Bro vs. Cosmic Bouncer + 36 Thunder Cops (Greg Dials the Buddha) | 0 |
| 31 | Chapter 7 · Part 4 of 5 — The Buddha Sets the Cosmic Wager (Leap Out of My Palm, Bro) | 0 |
| 32 | Chapter 7 · Part 5 of 5 — The Five Pink Pillars (Bro Pees on the Buddha's Hand ) | 0 |
| 33 | Chapter 8 · Part 1 of 5 — The Buddha Goes Home and Decides to Run the Cosmic Postal Service | 0 |
| 34 | Chapter 8 · Part 2 of 5 — Guanyin Volunteers (Buddha Hands Her Three Cosmic-Tier Migraine-Hoops) | 0 |
| 35 | Chapter 8 · Part 3 of 5 — Guanyin Recruits Sandy | 0 |
| 36 | Chapter 8 · Part 4 of 5 — Guanyin Recruits Pigsy (the Cosmic-Tier-Marshal-Who-Reincarnated-in-a-Sow) | 0 |
| 37 | Chapter 8 · Part 5 of 5 — Cosmic-Tier-Recruits 3 and 4 | 0 |
| 38 | Chapter 9 · Part 1 of 5 — Chen Guangrui Wins the Cosmic-Tier Imperial Exam | 0 |
| 39 | Chapter 9 · Part 2 of 5 — Murder on the Hong River | 0 |
| 40 | Chapter 9 · Part 3 of 5 — The Birth of River-Flow (Baby-Moses-but-Cosmic-Tier-Chinese-Version) | 0 |
| 41 | Chapter 9 · Part 4 of 5 — Xuanzang Finds Grandma Zhang | 0 |
| 42 | Chapter 9 · Part 5 of 5 — Revenge, Resurrection, Reunion | 0 |
