Main Character Syndrome: Magic and Stuff

Glen Campbell was the most dedicated beta tester for Magic and Stuff, a fully immersive neural-interface RPG that shut down without explanation three years ago. He logged more hours than anyone. He documented everything. He still has the spreadsheets. Then the game went live again. Without warning, without consent, and apparently without any intention of letting anyone log out. Glen drops in at Level 57, years ahead of every other player, into a world that is not a game, running on an alien invasion disguised as one. He has a staff with amber rune-glow, 847,000 SLOP in liquid assets, and the largest PENIS any player has ever seen. The PENIS is a Personal External Networked Inventory System. It was named by beta testers. The developers kept it. Glen has learned to live with this. He also has a small goblin named Irv who appeared on a nearby rock the moment the world changed and has not left since. Irv has opinions about everything. He shares approximately forty percent of them. The rest he keeps to himself for reasons he declines to explain. Glen's plan: reach the Spire, execute the objective, save the world. He has a spreadsheet for this. The plan is going fine. Irv disagrees with this assessment. Main Character Syndrome: Magic and Stuff is a LitRPG comedy about competence, alien bureaucracy, the specific exhaustion of being right about everything, and a goblin who knew how this was going to go before it started New chapters daily.