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The Five Deaths of Joshua Cross: History's Worst Recurring Problem

The Five Deaths of Joshua Cross: History's Worst Recurring Problem

by adriansnow

ComedyAdventureFantasySatireLow FantasyReincarnationTime TravelComedyMale LeadAdventure
Rising Stars:Satire #10
Shadow rank ~76–84 in Comedy↓4

Joshua Cross dies. Repeatedly. Not heroically. Not nobly. Usually because history, God, and basic common sense have formed a temporary alliance against him. After a distracted angel flattens him with a moving truck, Joshua wakes up in Heaven and discovers the afterlife is less eternal peace and more hostile customer service with robes. God cannot put him back. The paperwork is binding. The contracts are terrible. The currency system only dispenses useless U.S. dollars. And every “solution” Heaven offers somehow makes Joshua’s next death more expensive. So Joshua is thrown through history. A medieval village burns him as a witch. Pompeii gives him thirty minutes and a wine problem. Viking-age Norway mistakes him for something disturbingly Odin-shaped. Egypt turns him into the most blamed man in the Exodus. Every death sends him back to Heaven. Every return adds fees. Every century makes the legends worse. Joshua does not mean to change history. Unfortunately, history keeps taking notes. A dark absurd immortal comedy about divine bureaucracy, accidental mythology, historical disasters, and one unlucky idiot becoming the worst recurring problem in recorded history. What to expect in terms of new chapters Five chapters a week. Because one catastrophic death per century apparently was not enough.

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Current Rank
#10
Peak Rank
#9
Followers
101
+47
Story Timeline

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OverviewEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
27
+27
FVR
0.79%
Rating
4.30
Ratings
10
+10
Reviews
5
+5
Comments
N/A
0
RS Days
36
Total Chapters
69
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1The Day I Got a New Heart and Lost the Rest of Me0----
2Small incisions big problem0----
3Terms, Conditions, and One Financial Miracle0----
4The Trees Were Entirely Too Tall to Be Civilised0----
5Witch Apparently0----
6The Village Takes a Dim View of Sorcery0----
7A Brief Public Burning0----
8Return Policy, Language Pack, and Dorito Dust0----
9A New Wardrobe0----
10Interlude: The Wrath of the Almighty and the Extremely Unfortunate Angel0----
11The Day I Finally Got a Nice Town0----
12The Almighty’s Completely Respectable Administrative Meeting0----
13Caught in 4K0----
14Well That Was Rude0----
15Interlude: Malachi Pays for Everyone’s Sins Again0----
16The Day I Accidentally Introduced Myself as Discount Odin0----
17The Sayings of the Very Tired One0----
18How I Lost an Eye to Domestic Industry and Gained a Spear I Could Barely Use0----
19The Raid in Which I Accidentally Became a Maritime Problem0----
20In Which I Become a Regional Safety Concern and Then Get Killed by Weather0----
21To Review0----
22The Controller of Fate0----
23Interlude: The Committee for Catastrophic Men0----
24Interlude 2: The Bill Against Joshua Cross0----
25In Which I Am Incorrectly Sorted by an Empire0----
26Brick by Brick0----
27The Most Dangerous Man in Egypt0----
28How to avoid people in high places0----
29Practical Solutions to Divine Wrath0----
30The Day I Accidentally Became Logistics0----
31I Make the Catastrophic Error of Understanding Tides0----
32The Man Who Knew Where to Walk0----
33The Unfortunate Appointment of Joshua Cross, Desert Expert0----
34Forty Years of Moses, Me, and Other Administrative Errors0----
35The People vs. Joshua, Apparently0----
36Before the Truck, There Were Consent Forms0----
37The Mannequin Incident0----
38The Least Sensible Hiding Place in Recorded Theology 0----
39The Bath, the Wine, and the Last Good Drop of Water0----
40Subscription Immortality0----
41Joshua Cross and the The Great Death Review---end of book 10----
42The Resurrection Clause Had Fees---Book 2 The Further Deaths of Joshua Cross: Hell Charges Interest0----
43Interlude: The Stain Beneath Omnipotence0----
44The Wrong Apocalypse---This is a cross over Arc with one of my other book series0----
45Two Weeks Without a Punchline0----
46Death Becomes Him0----
47The Big Boss---A bonus chapter cause I missed Monday0----
48Good News at the Crosswalk0----
49The Review Board of Bad Decisions0----
50Safety Inspection for the Recently Misplaced0----
51Interlude: No Preparation for the weary God---a Bonus chapter specifically for the pre author note0----
52Error Code: Pants Unavailable0----
53The Men with Spears0----
54The Business Model of Desperation0----
55Administrative Corrections0----
56The Sea Does Not Care0----
57The Reputation of Birds0----
58The Goat Acquisition Incident0----
59A Man, Two Ravens, and a Very Suspicious Goat0----
60The King of a Small Harbor0----
61The Men in the Dry River0----
62The Harbor Burned Anyway0----
63The Most Expensive Nine Seconds in Egypt0----
64The Man Who Lost So Hard He Became Evidence0----
65The Edit Room of Heaven0----
66A Man by Morning0----
67The Road North of Târgoviște0----
68The Dragon’s Road0----
69Before the Stakes Had a Name0----