
by Roffles
Gabriel Oaks went into the mountains looking for clarity. Instead, he found himself in a cavern watching a dragon fight a phoenix, opened a magical box that should have stayed closed, and somehow survived. Not just any magical box. Pandora's Box. When Gabriel wakes, nearly sixty years have passed. Magic is real, technology has eroded alongside it, and the world he knew is gone. Fortunately, Gabriel isn't exactly normal anymore either. Good thing he never was "normal" to begin with. Armed with abilities like Heartburn Blast and Mana Marbles, a semi-sentient blade named Firefury that enables his terrible decisions, and the Pandora System that rarely misses an opportunity to roast him, Gabriel now has to learn a different world. As an avid gamer, he does what any experienced gamer does. Skips the tutorial. Now he's stumbling through a new world fueled by stubbornness, spite, bad puns, and decades-old pop culture references nobody understands anymore. As he's winging it through this new world, his trauma haunts him. Literally. Fueled by self deprecation, flexible judgment, and questionable methods, he's trying to figure out how to survive it all. In hindsight, he's finding new reasons to need therapy. Good thing the System gives it to him. Unfortunately for him, Pandora's idea of therapy usually involves boss fights.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Fall. | 0 |
| 2 | n00b. | 0 |
| 3 | Girl, oh no he didn't! | 0 |
| 4 | Bite back. | 0 |
| 5 | Breakdown. | 0 |
| 6 | First Blood. |
| 0 |
| 7 | Fat loots. | 0 |
| 8 | Why'd it have to be spiders... | 0 |
| 9 | Breathe. | 0 |
| 10 | Nap time. | 0 |
| 11 | Lizard Nuggets and CANDY! | 0 |
| 12 | Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Cups. | 0 |
| 13 | Regerts. | 0 |
| 14 | Sent. | 0 |
| 15 | The Arctic Chihuahua. | 0 |
| 16 | Stop. Collaborate. Oh shit... | 0 |
| 17 | Tradition. | 0 |
| 18 | Class is in session! | 0 |
| 19 | Winging it. | 0 |
| 20 | Meet Carl! | 0 |
| 21 | Knotty People! | 0 |
| 22 | Oni-Fans. | 0 |
| 23 | The Man in the Mirror. | 0 |
| 24 | No signal! | 0 |
| 25 | Wallet Warrior! | 0 |
| 26 | Damn Gina! | 0 |
| 27 | Event Horizon! | 0 |
| 28 | Quantum Dumbass! | 0 |
| 29 | Algorizing! | 0 |
| 30 | Old school! Biblical even! | 0 |
| 31 | You never, never leave your wingman! | 0 |
| 32 | Bro Code! | 0 |
| 33 | Honey! | 0 |
| 34 | Skankzilla! | 0 |
| 35 | Oops, I did it again! | 0 |
| 36 | Coconapples! | 0 |
| 37 | Rasengan?! | 0 |
| 38 | Hit it and quit it! | 0 |
| 39 | Stupid. Useless. Worthless. Failure. | 0 |
| 40 | A soul overwhelmed. | 0 |
| 41 | Chihuahua Energy! | 0 |
| 42 | Baby Back Bitch of the common trash variety! | 0 |
| 43 | Rub!k - Shine! | 0 |
| 44 | A dragon! A phoenix! A box? | 0 |
| 45 | Judgment... | 0 |
| 46 | Who's a good boy?! | 0 |
| 47 | Country Blues! | 0 |
| 48 | Crown of the Curmudgeon! | 0 |
| 49 | 99 Problems, but a Princess Ain't One! | 0 |
| 50 | Somatic Realignment. | 0 |
| 51 | Kick His Ass! | 0 |
| 52 | The Sound of Letting Go. | 0 |
| 53 | Hesitation. | 0 |
| 54 | Schedule update/Author note. | 0 |
| 55 | Barry. | — |
| 56 | My Smile Button. | — |
| 57 | Home. | — |
| 58 | Author's note. "Battalion 1 to Manhattan." | — |
| 59 | I promise. | — |
| 60 | Duct Tape and Bubble Gum! | — |
| 61 | Power Scale: Boundless. | — |
| 62 | Isekai Chronicles: Firefury. Hype Man and Bloodthirsty Cheerleader! | — |
| 63 | The Highly Skilled and Highly Trained Martial Artist: Gabriel. And His Crayon! | — |