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I was a divine weapon. Now my mum slaps my with a slipper

I was a divine weapon. Now my mum slaps my with a slipper

by B.R.LEE

ComedyNon-Human LeadSlice of LifeMultiple LoversSecret Identity

I used to be a divine weapon. Created to destroy demons. Feared by angels.Untouchable. Unquestionable. Uninterested in humanity. Until I killed a few humans. Apparently, that was “wrong.” So the Celestial Tribunal stripped me of my power and banished me to the human world… to learn what it means to live. Now I’m stuck in the body of a 22-year-old college student body.  So far, I have learned: 1)  Humans cry over food 2) Doors are surprisingly loud 3) Mum's slipper is more terrifying than divine judgment I can’t use my powers.I can’t control this body.And somehow… I have feelings now. This is unacceptable. Worse—something is coming.Something even the Tribunal fears. And for reasons I do not yet understand…

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Story Timeline

Started

4mo ago

10

1mo ago

OverviewEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
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0
FVR
0.09%
Rating
4.33
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RS Days
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Total Chapters
119
Total Words
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Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Chap 1 : Prologue "I Was a Divine Weapon…" 4 months ago0----
2Chap 2 : I Woke Up Mortal… and Someone Hit Me with... a? What is that? 4 months ago0----
3Chap 3 : They Tried to Put Me in a Moving Death Box 4 months ago0----
4Chap 4 : This Realm Smells Like Disinfectant and Poor Decisions 4 months ago0----
5
Chap 5 : The Raven Situation Is Deeply Concerning 4 months ago
0
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6Chap 6 : Apparently I Have Brain Damage … RUDE!! 4 months ago0----
7Chap 7 : Why Does Sustenance Require So Many Decisions? 4 months ago0----
8Chap 8 : Breaking News! Celestial Being Defeated by Lunch 4 months ago0----
9Chap 9 : Little Moo Moo and the Extremely Unfair Universe 4 months ago0----
10Chap 10 : The Celestial Hermit Crab Emerges 4 months ago0----
11Chap 11 : The Wall of Human Evidence 4 months ago0----
12Chap 12 : This Family is definitely unstable 4 months ago0----
13Chap 13 : Hello Sir, Why Does Your eyes has so much water Like Moo Moo? 4 months ago0----
14Chap 14 : The Glowing Demon Rectangle of Questionable Intent 4 months ago0----
15Chap 15 : The Messages That Would Not Stop Screaming 4 months ago0----
16Chap 16 : The Gate I Refused to Cross 4 months ago0----
17Chap 17 : I Was Called a Piglet… 4 months ago0----
18Chap 18 : Who is that Peasant? 4 months ago0----
19Chap 19 : I Was Betrayed Before the Battle Even Began 3 months ago0----
20Chap 20 : I Suspect There Is Only One Human and He Keeps Changing Jobs 3 months ago0----
21Chap 21 : The Boy Sat Beside Me and I Considered Offering Him to Grillides 3 months ago0----
22Author's note 3 months ago0----
23Chap 22 : Celestial Being Discovers That Economics Is the Real Dark Magic 3 months ago0----
24Chap 23 : The Collapse of a Celestial Being falling into a Handsome Stranger's Arm 3 months ago0----
25Chap 24 : Celestial Being Has Inappropriate Thoughts About Two Separate Mortal Males, and Questions 3 months ago0----
26Chap 25 : Celestial Being Discovers That Supply Curves Do Not, In Fact, Supply Happiness 3 months ago0----
27Chap 26 : Celestial Being at a Cafeteria Confrontation (Which of course im not scared) 3 months ago0----
28Chap 27 : Getting Kicked While You're Down (Literally) 3 months ago0----
29Chap 28 : In Which Soup Heals All Wounds (Especially When Dad Makes It) 3 months ago0----
30Chap 29 : The Four-Minute-and-Thirty-Seven-Second Emotional Ambush 3 months ago0----
31Chap 30 : In Which Celestial Being Discovers That Asking for Help Does Not seem so bad 3 months ago0----
32Chap 31 : The Unauthorized Appearance of a Small Green Emotional Support Demon 3 months ago0----
33Chap 32 : A Terminal Child, a Miraculous Reunion, & Discover That Smiling Doesn't Actually Hurt 3 months ago0----
34Chap 33 : How to Be Human (Step 1: Get Beaten Up, Step 2: Hug a Crying Furball) 3 months ago0----
35Chap 34 : A Small Green Creature Electrified My Room and Summoned Myself 3 months ago0----
36Chap 35 : Apparently, I Am Being Haunted… By Myself 3 months ago0----
37Chap 36 : Congratulations, You’re Dead… But Let’s Talk About Boys Anyway 3 months ago0----
38Chap 37 : Economics Is Hard, Death Is Harder, Love Is Worst 3 months ago0----
39Chap 38 : I Haven’t Slept, There’s a Ghost in My Kitchen, and She Won’t Stop Talking 3 months ago0----
40Chap 39 : True Heart 3 months ago0----
41Chap 40 : I Am a Celestial Being and I Cannot Wipe a Table 3 months ago0----
42Chap 41 : Celestial Being Came to Help and Accidentally Developed Feelings 3 months ago0----
43Chap 42 : A Celestial Cosmic ways 3 months ago0----
44Chap 43 : A Celestial Being is not afraid of The Abalone Gambit 3 months ago0----
45Chap 44 : I, a Celestial Being, Am NOT Waiting for Him. I Am Conducting a Risk Assessment. 3 months ago0----
46Chap 44.5 (P1) : I, the Celestial Being Survived the Abyss but Lost to a K-Pop Song (Side Story) 3 months ago0----
47Chap 44.5 (P2) : The Audacity! A K-Pop Song Committed a Crime Against Celestial Dignity 3 months ago0----
48Chap 45 : Gate-Rammer Called Me Cute, and Now I Must Destroy Him. This Is Psychological Warfare! 3 months ago0----
49Chap 46 : I, a Celestial Being, Walked Away from My Feelings Like an Unreturned Library Book 3 months ago0----
50Author's Note: Celebration Announcement 3 months ago0----
51Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 1) : The Boy Who Learned Not to Cry 3 months ago0----
52Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 2) : The Rooftop Ritual 3 months ago0----
53Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 3) : The Girl Who Came From the Sky 3 months ago0----
54Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 4) : A New Life 3 months ago0----
55Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 5) : The Boy Who Remembered 3 months ago0----
56Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 6) : The day everything changed 3 months ago0----
57Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 7) : It was not a normal lightning strike. 3 months ago0----
58Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 8) : The family in Chaos and They are weird 3 months ago0----
59Chap 47 : The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Pt 9) : The Gate (THE END) 3 months ago0----
60Chap 48 : The World's Saddest Green Speed Bump Crashes Through My Window 2 months ago0----
61Chap 49 : Moo Moo Ate My Textbook and Violated Several Laws of Reality 2 months ago0----
62Chap 50 : I Received a C. Mum Declared It a Divine Miracle. 2 months ago0----
63Chap 51 : The Celestial Throat-Clearing That Got Drowned Out by Scallions and Sister Privilege 2 months ago0----
64Chap 52 : In Which a B Becomes a Family Heirloom 2 months ago0----
65Chap 53 : The Nobel Prize That Normal People Don't Understand 2 months ago0----
66Chap 54 : The Mystery of the Synchronized Eye Twitch (Log #80) 2 months ago0----
67Chap 55 : In Which I Discover Dad's Secret Identity (Possibly a Wizard) 2 months ago0----
68Chap 56 : Summer Allergies, Dad's Greatest Lie Yet 2 months ago0----
69Chap 57 : Sad Cabbages, Ghostly Shadow Puppets, and a Hug That Lasted Two Seconds 2 months ago0----
70Chap 58 : Something Cold This Way Comes (And It's Not Summer Allergies) 2 months ago0----
71Chap 59 : The Four Ps: Product, Price, Place, and Pain 2 months ago0----
72Chap 60 : Comparative Advantage and Other Lies I Tell Myself 2 months ago0----
73Chap 61 : The Great Outdoors (A Terrible Idea) 2 months ago0----
74Chap 62 : Five Versus One and They All Need Ice Packs (Especially the Slapped One) 2 months ago0----
75Chap 63 : The Emotional Octopus Attacks (And Dad's Nose Becomes One with the Window) 2 months ago0----
76Chap 64 : The Traitorous 'Yes' (Or: How a Ghost Screamed Me Into a Date) 2 months ago0----
77Chap 65 : The Great Ice Cream Offensive (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Date) 2 months ago0----
78Chap 66 : Three Days Later. Saturday, 15th August. D-Day. 2 months ago0----
79Chap 67 : 2:00 PM. One Hour Before Departure. 2 months ago0----
80Chap 68 : The Ice Cream Offensive (Or, How a Ghost Nearly Gave Me an Aneurysm on Public Transport) 2 months ago0----
81Chap 69 : Blossom Haven Park. Finally. 2 months ago0----
82Chap 70 : The Restaurant of Broken Dreams (Or, How I Mistook a Rich Lady for an Angel) 2 months ago0----
83Chap 71 : Flashback: Mina's Lecture on Rich People. 2 months ago0----
84Chap 72 : Back to the Present. The Restaurant of Broken Dreams. 2 months ago0----
85Chap 73 : The Dinner That Rewired A Celestial Brain (And Not in a Good Way) 2 months ago0----
86Chap 74 : The End of the Night. Or So I Thought. 2 months ago0----
87Chap 75 : The Bus Ride Home. The Walk. The Sync. The Moment? 2 months ago0----
88Chap 76 : The Almost-Hug That Was Ruined by a Sister with Impeccable Timing & Also a Kitchen Knife? 2 months ago0----
89Chap 77 : Next Morning. A different D-Day and I, the Celestial Being Approve? Interesting. 2 months ago0----
90Chap 78 : The Door. The Murderer. The Slipper of Justice. 2 months ago0----
91Chap 79 : The Cozy Pizzeria. I, a Celestial Being having A Moment with Pizza 1 month ago0----
92Chap 80 : The Claw Machine. The Enemy of All Celestial Beings. 1 month ago0----
93Chap 81 : The Song That Refused to Die & A Diner That Probably No Longer Exists. 1 month ago0----
94Chap 82 : The Song. The Question. The Quiet Heartbreak. 1 month ago0----
95Chap 83 : The Spicy Rice Cake Betrayal (Or, How My Stomach Declared War on My Celestial Dignity) 1 month ago0----
96Chap 84 : The Listening. The Understanding. The Walk Home with Two Buildings and a Midget. 1 month ago0----
97Chap 85 : The Goodbye. The Promise. The End of a Very Strange Day. 1 month ago0----
98Chap 86 : The Great Camping Conspiracy 1 month ago0----
99Chap 87 : How I Mistook a School Nurse for another Celestial Messenger and Made Everything Awkward 1 month ago0----
100Chap 88 : I, the Celestial Being shall go to this camp. Wish me luck. 1 month ago0----
101Chap 89 : The Walk. The Lagoon. The Memories. 1 month ago0----
102Author’s note with a side of tissues 🤧🤧🤧 1 month ago0----
103Chap 90 : Wait. Minjae can see Human Sera? Hold on a min. 1 month ago0----
104Chap 91 : The Blood, The Truth, and He really can see Human Sera! This is unbelievable. 1 month ago0----
105Chap 92 : The Rescue, The Ramen, and The Very Unhelpful Emotional Support Bear 1 month ago0----
106Chap 93 : The Confession, The Hug, and The Ghost Who Wouldn't Shut Up 1 month ago0----
107Chap 94 : Few Weeks Earlier. A Coffee Shop. The Talk. 1 month ago0----
108Chap 95 : Back to the Present. The Campsite. The Hug. 1 month ago0----
109Chap 96 : (MINA POV) The Long Night of Unwanted Questions & The Door. The Chime. The hurtful past 1 month ago0----
110Chap 97 : (MINA POV) Ancient Hags, Family Group Chats, and the Art of Ignoring Sera 1 month ago0----
111Chap 98 : (MINA POV) The Escape. The Alley. The Figure. 30 days ago0----
112Chap 99 : The Ferry. The Interrogation. The Headache. 30 days ago0----
113Chap 100 : I, the celestial never been so happy to be on land. 29 days ago0----
114Chap 101: The Cold Box. The Sacred Quest. 27 days ago0----
115Chap 102: The Alley. The Crying. The Anger. 26 days ago0----
116Chap 103 : The Velvet Noose (Pt 1) Where it all Began. (Interlude) 2 days ago0----
117Chap 104 : The Velvet Noose (Pt 2) The Dinner that changed everything (Interlude) 2 days ago0----
118Chap 105 : The Velvet Noose (Pt 3) The introduction of Him (Interlude) 1 day ago0----
119The Velvet Noose (Pt 4/End) The Decision made and there is no turning back. (Interlude) 5 minutes ago0----