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Pauper's Guide to Two Millennia of China

Pauper's Guide to Two Millennia of China

by OldMonk

ReincarnationProgressionWar and MilitaryComedyFemale Lead

She witnessed the Battle of Changping, where hundreds of thousands were buried alive. She led the iron cavalry of Great Qin, contending for supremacy against the Six  Kingdoms. She saw the land split into three, rivers and mountains shattered — and heard the serene melody of a qin from Longzhong. During the golden age of Zhenguan, she drank the night away. And that legendary empress — how did her splendor unfold? She once rode in fine garments on spirited  steeds, and once stood with a feathered fan and silk headband. She was a humble farmer, and a village schoolteacher. Yet no one knows that this person has lived for two thousand years.

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Started

3w ago

OverviewEngagementProseChapters
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Total Chapters
100
Total Words
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Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
0Chapter 1: Not All Old Men Are Slow on Their Feet0----
1Chapter 2: It's Not Easy to Earn Your Own Meal0----
2Chapter 3: Don't Talk While Eating0----
3Chapter 4: Generally Speaking, Tough Guys on the Outside Are Henpecked at Home0----
4Chapter 5: On the Making of a Hothead0---
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5Chapter 6: Lian Po — Isn't He the Guy Who Carried the Brambles?0----
6Chapter 7: This Goddamn Feudal Society0----
7Chapter 7: The Strange Fish0----
8Chapter 9: The Different Always Has Its Reasons for Being Different0----
9Chapter 10: The Six Arts of a Gentleman — Roughnecks Don't Need to Bother with All That0----
10Chapter 11: Xiao Lü, Do You Know What a Sword Is0----
11Chapter 12: I Don't Know Anything About Practicing Swords Either0----
12Chapter 13: Some Horses Are with You for Life, So Treat Them Well0----
13Chapter 14: A Baller's Pride0----
14Chapter 15: First Snow in Xianyang0----
15Chapter 16: The Sword Emerges0----
16Chapter 17: The Battle of Changping0----
17Chapter 18: The Butcher's Ambition0----
18Chapter 19: Laugh Not If I Lie Drunk on the Battlefield — How Many Warriors Come Home?0----
19Chapter 20: A Scholar Hears a Poem0----
20Chapter 21: The Jiang Siyao Concert0----
21Chapter 22: Fairy in a Painting0----
22Chapter 23: About to Call It Winter Cold, Yet It Feels Like Spring0----
23Chapter 24: If You're Not Coming Home Tonight, You'd Better Let Your Parents Know0----
24Chapter 25: Grinning on the Outside, F***ing Seething Inside0----
25Chapter 26: Has Lord Wu'an Lost His Edge, or Has Dongzan Tower Gone Too Big for Its Boots?0----
26Chapter 27: As Winter Slowly Chills, a Lazy Beauty0----
27Chapter 28: Guiguzi on Swords0----
28Chapter 29: Year-End Call to Arms — Hey, Even Soldiers Get Annual Leave, Right?0----
29Chapter 30: No Path Back0----
30Chapter 31: In This Army, Besides Waiting to Die, What Else Is There?0----
31Chapter 32: So When Trouble Comes, Learn to Step Aside0----
32Chapter 33: With One Thrust of This Spear, You Might Just Call Me Daddy0----
33Chapter 34: Peace on the Way Home0----
34Chapter 35: Aren't You Just Going Out of Your Way to Make Things Difficult for This Gu?0----
35Chapter 36: A Brand New World? Oh Sure, Keep On Sweet-Talking0----
36Chapter 37: Shengshi in the Flames0----
37Chapter 38: A Towering Lie0----
38Chapter 39: Sometimes Getting Lost in a Lie Beats Staring Down the Truth0----
39Chapter 40: A Promise Is a Promise, After All0----
40Chapter 40: Keeping a Promise — Turns Out It's Necessary After All0----
41Chapter 41: From the East Market to the City Gate — Really Only Four or Five Steps0----
42Chapter 42: To Fight Facing Death0----
43Chapter 43: Still Not Dead After All That — Must Have Nine Lives0----
44Chapter 44: Finding a Doctor Just Like That — Pretty Lucky After All0----
45Chapter 45: Money Talks — It Always Does0----
46Chapter 46: Honestly, I Never Wanted to Fight0----
47Chapter 47: Take a Walk in the Cold — Turns Out You'll Catch a Cold0----
48Chapter 48: A Desperate Army Shall Prevail0----
49Chapter 49: Sometimes in War, It All Comes Down to Fighting Spirit0----
50Chapter 50: Lunatics Who Don't Care If They Die0----
51Chapter 51: The Last Snow Before Spring0----
52Chapter 52: They Surrendered Like Tigers and Returned Like Conquerors0----
53Chapter 53: May the Road Treat You Well0----
54Chapter 54: Die Like Dogs0----
55Chapter 55: For Some Things, Even the Doer Cannot Say Why0----
56Chapter 56: For a Commander, to Compromise Is the Greatest Shame0----
57Chapter 57: Dress, Eat, Walk, and Sleep — In Short, Etiquette Is a Nightmare0----
58Chapter 58: To Be a General Is to Have Slaughtered Millions0----
59Chapter 59: In a World Like This, Best Not to Grow a Conscience0----
60Chapter 60: A Body Good for Nothing — Good Enough to Sacrifice0----
61Chapter 61: Just Can't Quite Let Go0----
62Chapter 62: Money — It's Always Important0----
63Chapter 63: Every Year Has Its Share of Strange Things0----
64Chapter 64: The Death-Row Camp0----
65Chapter 66: Once Dead to Them, a Person Is No Better Than an Object0----
66Chapter 67: The Difference Between Fake Snoring and Real Snoring Is Surprisingly Large0----
67Chapter 68: Have They Been Trained Into Idiots?0----
68Chapter 69: Life and Death Be What They May — I Ask Only to Come Home Before Long0----
69Chapter 70: A Visit from Guigu0----
70Chapter 71: Oh, The Kid Who Stole My Money!0----
71Chapter 72: In Life, Always Reach for More0----
72Chapter 73: Even the Greatest Swordsmen Were Children Once0----
73Chapter 74: Getting Cold Out — Better Bundle Up0----
74Chapter 75: My Father Once Made Me a Little Wooden Sword Too0----
75Chapter 76: Fantasizing About Food Is a Perfectly Valid Strategy0----
76Chapter 77: Come Back and Look, When the Time Comes0----
77Chapter 78: The Other One Doesn't Want to Come Back0----
78Chapter 79: Black Army, White Robes0----
79Chapter 80: Not One Man Turned Back0----
80Chapter 81: Yiren's Escape0----
81Chapter 82: So Yeah, Bribery Really Is a Time-Honored Tradition0----
82Chapter 83: A Woman? Must Be My Imagination0----
83Chapter 84: The Spirit of the Xianzhen0----
84Chapter 85: The Bigger Picture Comes First0----
85Chapter 86: Be a Good Emperor, All Right?0----
86Chapter 87: What About My Dignity?0----
87Chapter 88: All Things Are Commerce0----
88Chapter 89: To Contend with Heaven0----
89Chapter 90: The Mantle of Bai Qi0----
90Chapter 91: Can't Even Manage to Get Drunk Once0----
91Chapter 92: No One Was Crying — The Beacon Fires Just Stung Our Eyes0----
92Chapter 93: Homecoming0----
93Chapter 94: Gone to Dust0----
94Chapter 95: Nobody Has Time for an Idler0----
95Chapter 96: The Resolute Gambler0----
96Chapter 97: That Year, Li Si Was Still Very Young0----
97Chapter 98: Scholars Are Such a Bother0----
98Chapter 99: Whatever Happened to Your Grand Ambitions?0----
99Chapter 100: Master Gu? Since When Is She a Master?0----