Reincarnated as a horny single-celled organism (Evolution, Comedy, Archmage coming soon)

He died a virgin on the way to not be one. Woke up as a single-celled organism with three abilities: [Absorb Nutrients], [Divide], and [Exist]. That last one came with a participation trophy. Andy Snodgrass was crossing the street to his girlfriend's apartment when a truck rewrote his plans. Now he's a prokaryote in a fantasy world with a LitRPG evolution system, and the only way forward is up the skill tree. He picks a calcium spike as his first ability because he always picks the pointy option. He doesn't read the fine print. He should have. Because that spike carries over. Every evolution. Every new body. The System is building him toward something, and every form he takes is hornier than the last — in the most literal sense possible. What to expect: A horn A good story that doesn’t take itself too seriously Humor Slow burn romance Embarrassment to tell your friends your favorite book of 2026 is this one ‘Monster’ Evolution Humor Nothing over PG-13 A really cute story that might leave you going, “awwww” Adventure Innuendos  Evolution LitRPG | Cozy Slow Burn Romantasy | Comedy-Forward A deadpan MC who argues with the System. A horn that won't stop being a double entendre. Companions who have no business being in the same party. A slow-burn romance that starts in the worst possible body. And the nagging question of whether the universe is trolling him or training him. Dungeon Crawler Carl meets truly hopeless romantasy. Updates Mon-Friday. Adopt your own Horny Single-Celled Organism on Patreon