The Trials

How do you get rid of the biggest part of you? How do you ignore the call of something so beautiful yet so deadly? How do you resist the darkness that's been living, growing and thriving within you even before you were born? How do you turn down the only chance to get all the answers you desire, even if it leads you down a path of chaos, horror, and madness? A path others have fought for you not to tread. But why fight at all? Why fight a fire that only burns brighter? "Listen, you can choose not to believe this. But I've been where you are, I've felt what you feel." I opened my mouth to snap back, but he continued, his voice more broken that I'd ever heard it. "Don't ask me how I know - all I know is I don't want to hurt you. I don't want a throne. I just... I just want you to be okay. I can't... I can't lose you too." His eyes held sincerity that should've filled me with guilt. Pain that should've made me reach for him. Something more that should've made my heart ache. But none affected me.  Not anymore. I smiled, my voice a whisper as I spoke. "What makes you think I care about you losing me... when I don't even care if I lose myself?" The others may be trying to douse the fire but I'd rather let it burn. Burn until it consumed us all.