I Reincarnated as a Tutorial Popup (And Nobody Ever Clicks Yes) [System][Apocalypse][LitRPG][Comedy]

Ethan Cole died in the stupidest way possible. It wasn’t a truck, it wasn’t a rare disease, it wasn’t even something worth telling. He simply closed his eyes one night and never opened them again. No drama. No last will. No glorious isekai with a compassionate goddess offering him a unique power. Just a blinking window in the darkness: > [THE SYSTEM HAS ASSIGNED YOU A ROLE] [ROLE: TUTORIAL POPUP] [DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE? YES / NO / REMIND ME LATER] Ethan clicked YES. No one else has in ten years. Now he exists as a floating notification window in the most dangerous post-apocalyptic world in human history. He can’t move on his own. He can’t speak. He can’t attack, defend, cook, run, or even exist if there’s no one nearby to see him. He can only display text. And every time someone closes him without reading — which is always, absolutely always — he loses one point of existence. He has spent ten years on the brink of digital extinction. Until Kira Voss, the most powerful S-Rank warrior on the continent, known for soloing and massacring a Level 9 Dungeon, undefeated champion, terror of ancient beasts… accidentally clicks YES. Not because she wanted to. Because she mistook the button for the close window option. Now they’re linked. Maximum distance: 50 meters. No option to unlink. No refunds. No technical support. Ethan finally has someone who reads him. Kira has a popup stuck to her face for the rest of her life. Neither of them is happy about it.