by Redd Ensign
Citizens of the Dominion write in with their most urgent questions—love, courage, etiquette, survival, and how to behave like an adult in a nation held together by ceremony and snacks. They do not receive answers from a therapist. They receive answers from Big Joe: MONARCH’s resident moose of might, permanent pair-bond enthusiast, and occasional source of structural damage. Fortunately (or unfortunately), Squire translates Joe’s wisdom into human language. Expect absurd patriotism, animal-courtship “science,” and surprisingly heartfelt advice delivered through hoofprints, prolonged eye contact, and objects that are now “spoken for.”
