The Toothless Count

Count Vlad, a vampire, has lived for four hundred years. He has witnessed the rise and fall of empires, drunk cheap ale with Shakespeare, and endured eternal imprisonment in a mercury-sealed sarcophagus. But he has never faced such a terrifying adversary: ​​the modern bureaucratic system. Awakening unexpectedly in a 4.7 magnitude earthquake, the former Wallachian count discovers that the world no longer needs stakes and holy water to eliminate him. They have far more efficient weapons—FICO credit scores, KYC identity verification, and expensive dental insurance. Lost his fangs, without legal status, and with zero savings, Vlad must wear cheap $1 sunglasses, endure acid reflux at 7-Eleven's hot dog machine, and attempt to reclaim his lost immortality amidst the biotech battles of Silicon Valley. In this era where even the devil pays rent, survival itself is the ultimate horror.