Snap Zasperate & The Queen of the Seven Seize (Book 2)

SET SAIL FOR ADVENTURE! That too cliche for you? Then how about, 'GET UP OFF YOUR BUTT AND GO FIND SOME TREASURE, PHLEGM WAD." Snap Zasperate is back (as if she ever left), and this time (it's always THIS time, why can't it be some OTHER time? Always at the convenience of the plot, I'm tellin' ya), ahem, THIS TIME she has to defend Pareidolia City (where the palm trees are green and the girls are pretty) from the machinations of the dread pirate queen Steely Dan McCool and her bounteous crew of buxom beauties! Oh yeah, and there's a vampire who sparkles, some kid with a big head and this little girl who, well, less said about her the better. Join Snap, her friends, her family and especially one screwy squirrel-girl - "Hey! That's MEEEEE!" - on this, their rowdiest big sea adventure yet as we set sail to discover just what the heck is the Seven Seize! And I swear to frickin' GOD, if it's the friends we meet along the way, somebody's gonna get HURT. Rated RRRRR, cause pirates, yanno (nah, it's pretty safe for all ages except wee ones and people without a sense of humor) (C) Luke Simmons, 2026, All rights reserved