
by SirSparrowhawk
Kellam Wren is a perfectly competent wizard who made the terrible mistake of being good at his job. His reward: a royal appointment to a court where the heating hasn't worked in years because no one can authorize the repair, the previouswizard is still decomposing in a locked workshop due to jurisdictional questions, and the kingdom's Lord of Efficiency has fired everyone who knew how anything worked. The treasury can't find its own money. The Minister of Territorial Heritage keeps claiming islands belonging to allies. The Minister of Crown Messaging insists the collapsing bridges are just "undergoing community-integrated structuralreassessment." And the Guild of Merciful Restoration requires six to eight weeks of pre-authorization before they'll heal you. Forms available upon request, in triplicate. Now Kellam has to quietly fix a kingdom held together with twine and denial, navigate a council that treats competence as a personality flaw, and dismantle a doomsday device his predecessor built because he, too, got tired of the paperwork. All without proper credentials from a man who's never cast a spell in his life. A fantasy satire for anyone who's ever tried to get something done within a system designed to prevent exactly that. The bridges are collapsing, the allies are leaving, and winter is coming, but at least the forms are in order. Perfect for fans of: dry wit, bureaucratic nightmares, and the quiet heroism of people who just fix things while nobody's looking.
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