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The Lamp That No Longer Shines: A LitRPG Action Comedy

The Lamp That No Longer Shines: A LitRPG Action Comedy

by Broken_Bulb

Portal Fantasy / IsekaiActionComedyFantasySatireRomance SubplotSlice of LifeHigh FantasyLesbian RomanceLitRPGPortal Fantasy / IsekaiProgressionAnti-Hero LeadRuling Class
Rising Stars:Satire #49Romance #50Comedy #49Action #50Fantasy #50
Shadow rank ~162–186 in Satire

I was a game designer. Now I'm a Witch. Witches are not what you think. They don't cast spells by candlelight and pray to the moon. They audit gods and harvest planets for fuel. They settle academic disputes at gunpoint, and the loser writes her rebuttal from the afterlife. Their idea of mercy is turning your civilization into a battery instead of fertilizer. I love it here. The problem is, I'm the only one who showed up to this civilization with a corporate mindset. Everyone else is an immortal, overpowered genius who treats reality like a personal sandbox. Nobody here has needed documentation in two thousand years. Nobody here has needed anyone like me. I am trying, very politely, to bring version control to a species that considers chaos a design philosophy. But here's the thing about these arrogant, violent, impossible women: if I ever fall, they will burn a galaxy to bring me home. And for the first time in two lifetimes, that means something. [ LitRPG | Magic Academy | Transmigration | Female Lead | No Harem ] 📖 Arc 2 Complete · 📋 Fully Outlined · Sun–Thu EST Updates · Read 20 Chapters Ahead on Patreon

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Changes shown for: last 90d
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Current Rank
#49
Peak Rank
#1
Followers
1,136
+145
Story Timeline

Started

6mo ago

Entered Satire RS

6mo ago

#1 Satire

6mo ago

Entered Comedy RS

5mo ago

#10 Comedy

5mo ago

Entered Romance RS

5mo ago

#2 Romance

5mo ago

Entered Action RS

5mo ago

#21 Action

5mo ago

Entered Fantasy RS

5mo ago

#25 Fantasy

5mo ago

20

5mo ago

OverviewEngagementProseChapters
All #50
Favorites
286
+286
FVR
0.41%
Rating
4.30
Ratings
169
+169
Reviews
30
+30
Comments
N/A
0
RS Days
317
Total Chapters
209
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Chapter 1: When the Lightbulb Dies, the Lion Learns to Stealth 6 months ago0----
2Chapter 2: That Time I Devoured a Dragon as Breakfast 6 months ago0----
3Chapter 4: Never Meet Your Idols 6 months ago0----
4Chapter 6: [Meteor Swarm: Braking Variant] 6 months ago0----
5Chapter 8: Just Because I'm Rich Doesn't Mean I Don't Want to Swallow This Card 6 months ago
0
-
-
-
-
6Chapter 9: Regarding Being Farmed 0-13 by My Idol 6 months ago0----
7Chapter 10: Saving Money is a Cardinal Sin in This House 6 months ago0----
8Chapter 12: Welcome to Yggdrasil, How Would You Like to Die Today? 6 months ago0----
9Chapter 13: I Told Her to Go to Hell, and She Took It Seriously 6 months ago0----
10Chapter 14: When a Montague Moves in Next Door to a Capulet 6 months ago0----
11Chapter 15: Max Level, But Stuck in the Tutorial 6 months ago0----
12Chapter 16: She Thinks You're Studying for A3, But You're Crying Over A1 6 months ago0----
13Chapter 17: Bribes and Brain Roasts 6 months ago0----
14Chapter 18: "Science" is Just Strapping 300 Blast Flasks to a Broom and Lighting the Fuse 6 months ago0----
15Chapter 19: How to Scam an S-Tier Tutor 6 months ago0----
16Chapter 20: Unlocking the Sadistic Skill Trainer 6 months ago0----
17Chapter 21: Uninstalling Mortal.exe 6 months ago0----
18Chapter 22: The Purge of the Faceless 6 months ago0----
19Chapter 23: The Crime of Being Boring 6 months ago0----
20Chapter 24: How to Lose Five Layers of Hell for a Single Pork Rib 6 months ago0----
21Chapter 25: Welcome to the Food Chain 6 months ago0----
22Chapter 26: How to Keep the Peace by Bombing Everyone 6 months ago0----
23Chapter 27: The 0-Hour Workday 6 months ago0----
24Chapter 28: To Burn the Galaxy for You 6 months ago0----
25Chapter 3: Proving My Innocence by Being an Idiot 6 months ago0----
26Chapter 29: How to Survive a Salad 6 months ago0----
27Chapter 30: The Firmware Update 6 months ago0----
28Chapter 5: Defenestration as a Valid Escape Strategy 6 months ago0----
29Chapter 7: Corporate Burnout: Dragon Edition 6 months ago0----
30Chapter 11: Lovecraftian Biomechanics 6 months ago0----
31Chapter 31: My Mother is a Tactical Flashbang 6 months ago0----
32Chapter 32: Pity the Reality She Decides to Rewrite 6 months ago0----
33Chapter 33: 120 Points or Bust 6 months ago0----
34Chapter 34: How to Bully a Goddess (A Beginner's Guide by Middle Schoolers) 5 months ago0----
35Chapter 35: The Exam is Just Arrogantly Telling the Examiner "I'm Right" 5 months ago0----
36Chapter 36: How to Survive My Mother's Love Beam 5 months ago0----
37Chapter 37: Help! My Sister Just Exploded! 5 months ago0----
38Chapter 38: The Prince of the Bar 5 months ago0----
39Chapter 39: Poisoning the Draft Pool 5 months ago0----
40Chapter 40: The Citizenship Tax 5 months ago0----
41Chapter 41: The Anti-Synergy Council 5 months ago0----
42Chapter 42: Drunken Courage and the Forbidden Name 5 months ago0----
43Chapter 43: How I Laid an Egg and Lost My Dignity 5 months ago0----
44Chapter 44: The Art of Panic Spending 5 months ago0----
45Chapter 45: Tactical Calories and Corporate Demon Lords 5 months ago0----
46Chapter 46: Tentacles, Taxes, and Thirst 5 months ago0----
47Chapter 47: How to Die While Simping 5 months ago0----
48Chapter 48: The Zookeeper Arrives 5 months ago0----
49Chapter 49: A Localized Three-Body Problem 5 months ago0----
50Chapter 50: Social Suicide by Explosion 5 months ago0----
51Chapter 51: A High-Yield Asset 5 months ago0----
52Chapter 52: Industrializing Imagination 5 months ago0----
53Chapter 53: A High-Functioning Stalker 5 months ago0----
54Chapter 54: Galaxies and Fried Chicken 5 months ago0----
55Chapter 55: The Meal Ticket of the Fire Dragon 5 months ago0----
56Chapter 56: The Executive Meow-nagement Package 5 months ago0----
57Chapter 57: A Crisis of Loot Distribution 5 months ago0----
58Chapter 58: Dismantling the Logic Core for a BBQ 5 months ago0----
59Chapter 59: Patch Notes: Stop Showing Off 5 months ago0----
60Chapter 60: A Flawless Questline 5 months ago0----
61Chapter 61: A Frame-Perfect Unintentional Assist 5 months ago0----
62Chapter 62: The Admin-Mode HUD 5 months ago0----
63Chapter 63: Whales and Bargain Hunters 5 months ago0----
64Chapter 64: Extorting a National Treasure 5 months ago0----
65Chapter 65: I Am Your Liquidity 5 months ago0----
66Chapter 66: There Are No More Cats 4 months ago0----
67Chapter 67: Spawn-Camping the Millennium Sovereign 4 months ago0----
68Chapter 68: Biohazard Level 4 4 months ago0----
69Chapter 69: Cheat Activated 4 months ago0----
70Chapter 70: A Brief Summary of Margaret's Death 4 months ago0----
71Chapter 71: The Thermodynamic Sandwich 4 months ago0----
72Chapter 72: The Modder's Dilemma 4 months ago0----
73Chapter 73: A Hostage Situation Disguised as a Roster 4 months ago0----
74Chapter 74: Unlocking the Max-Level Guild Hall 4 months ago0----
75Chapter 75: Weaponized Eighth-Grader Syndrome 4 months ago0----
76Chapter 76: A War Crime with a Receipt 4 months ago0----
77Chapter 77: The PvE Server is Live 4 months ago0----
78Chapter 78: Cosmetics Are the True Endgame 4 months ago0----
79Chapter 79: Zone Transition: Denied 4 months ago0----
80Chapter 80: I-Frames on a Deer 4 months ago0----
81Chapter 81: Evolutionary Capsaicin Dependency 4 months ago0----
82Chapter 82: A Neurotoxin Disguised as a Condiment 4 months ago0----
83Chapter 83: The Operating System and the CPU 4 months ago0----
84Chapter 84: Dropping the Modder Tag 4 months ago0----
85Chapter 85: A Symmetrical Agreement (Probably) 4 months ago0----
86Chapter 86: The Empty Audience Seat 4 months ago0----
87Chapter 87: 180 Lumens of Betrayal 4 months ago0----
88Chapter 88: Immortal Credit Scores 4 months ago0----
89Chapter 89: The Neon Pink Heirloom 4 months ago0----
90Chapter 90: Thank the Stars for Poverty 4 months ago0----
91Chapter 91: Menace to Public Decency 4 months ago0----
92Chapter 92: A Martyr for Her Ships 4 months ago0----
93Chapter 93: I Really Am a Monster 4 months ago0----
94Chapter 94: The Glass Cannon's Patch Notes 4 months ago0----
95Chapter 95: A Family-Friendly Death 4 months ago0----
96Chapter 96: Tactical Espionage via Doujinshi 4 months ago0----
97Chapter 97: A Weapon Built for a Whale 3 months ago0----
98Chapter 98: Star Orbit 3 months ago0----
99Chapter 99: A Highly Optimized Speed Bump 3 months ago0----
100Chapter 100: Missing a Decimal Place 3 months ago0----
101Chapter 101: The Cassandra Dilemma 3 months ago0----
102Chapter 102: The Prologue That Should Not Be Read Yet 3 months ago0----
103Chapter 103: An Economic Trap Wearing a Furry Coat 3 months ago0----
104Chapter 104: You Cannot Punch a Tsunami to Death 3 months ago0----
105Chapter 105: The DLC Installed Without Consent 3 months ago0----
106Chapter 106: The Monster Registry, or: The Unimaginable 3 months ago0----
107Chapter 107: The Classic Whiteboard Casualty 3 months ago0----
108Chapter 108: The Enemy's Unencrypted Source Code 3 months ago0----
109Chapter 109: Extracting Flight Physics from Erotica 3 months ago0----
110Chapter 110: Ride the Train First, Buy the Ticket Later 3 months ago0----
111Chapter 111: A Main-Character Cheat Code 3 months ago0----
112Chapter 112: A Nuclear-Yield Healing Fireball 3 months ago0----
113Chapter 113: The Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood (and Exponential True Damage) 3 months ago0----
114Chapter 114: 100% Absorption Rate 3 months ago0----
115Chapter 115: A Middle Finger to the Multiverse 3 months ago0----
116Chapter 116: Skipping the Cooldown on a Horror Movie Curse 3 months ago0----
117Chapter 117: The 98.7% Cognitive Efficiency Lie 3 months ago0----
118Chapter 118: The Protagonist with a Harem 3 months ago0----
119Chapter 119: A 200-Lumen Solar Flare 3 months ago0----
120Chapter 120: A Degenerate, Non-Interactive Control Build 3 months ago0----
121Chapter 121: The Ghost of a Dead Spell 3 months ago0----
122Chapter 122: The Biggest Anti-Fan Gets the Group Autograph 3 months ago0----
123Chapter 123: One Patch Cycle at a Time 3 months ago0----
124Chapter 124: Geographical Bigotry in an Expensive Font 3 months ago0----
125Chapter 125: The Black Umbrella Enters the City 2 months ago0----
126Chapter 126: Skipping the Tutorial for a Survival Horror Game 2 months ago0----
127Chapter 127: The NTR Arc Existential Crisis 2 months ago0----
128Chapter 128: The Ancient Ray Witch Taxonomy 2 months ago0----
129Chapter 129: Weapons-Grade Cringe 2 months ago0----
130Chapter 130: A Squad of Violently Closeted Irene Stans 2 months ago0----
131Chapter 131: Legally Obligated to Address Her as 'Mother' 2 months ago0----
132Chapter 132: The Final Raid Boss of Weaponized Bureaucracy 2 months ago0----
133Chapter 133: Social Execution in Three Minutes 2 months ago0----
134Chapter 134: "Shh. Be Good." 2 months ago0----
135Chapter 135: PKing a Soul-Bound Teammate for the Loot Drop 2 months ago0----
136Chapter 136: A Containment Breach of Weaponized Degeneracy 2 months ago0----
137Chapter 137: The Social Equivalent of Barking at Your Own Reflection 2 months ago0----
138Chapter 138: A Whale Falls in Babylon 2 months ago0----
139Chapter 139: The Gravity of a Star 2 months ago0----
140Chapter 140: My Democratic Spine Snapped Without a Fight 2 months ago0----
141Chapter 141: May the Substitute Bench Remain Outside the Blast Radius 2 months ago0----
142Chapter 142: A Perfectly Qualified Consumable Attrition Unit 2 months ago0----
143Chapter 143: The Substitute Bench Survives 2 months ago0----
144Chapter 144: The Pristine Aristocrat's Degenerate Meta 2 months ago0----
145Chapter 145: They Weren't Defeated. They Were Audited. 2 months ago0----
146Chapter 146: Level of Ghost Castle Favoritism: Catastrophic 1 month ago0----
147Chapter 147: Magnificent in Defeat 1 month ago0----
148Chapter 148: The Greatest Sound is Silence 1 month ago0----
149Chapter 149: Over Budget, Under Time, Mid-Sprint 1 month ago0----
150Chapter 150: I Have Kept the Faith 1 month ago0----
151Chapter 151: The Context Being: The Ground 1 month ago0----
152Chapter 152: Building a Weather Station in the God Mode Windup 1 month ago0----
153Chapter 153: Redefining the Attrition Paradigm 1 month ago0----
154Chapter 154: Strictly Analytical Research Purposes 1 month ago0----
155Chapter 155: Sharpening the Axe Delays No Woodcutter 1 month ago0----
156Chapter 156: The Only Team Who Actually Showed Up to Play the Game 1 month ago0----
157Chapter 157: Strawberry Was Her Favorite Flavor 1 month ago0----
158Chapter 158: "So It Was You" 1 month ago0----
159Chapter 159: The Water We Are Born In 1 month ago0----
160Chapter 160: A Five-Year Veteran Fan of a Two-Month-Old Team 1 month ago0----
161Chapter 161: Leaving Her Dignity in the Locker Room 1 month ago0----
162Chapter 162: The Saint of the Greed Umbrella 1 month ago0----
163Chapter 163: The Safe Side of the Blast Radius 1 month ago0----
164Chapter 164: The Demise of the Greatest Fool 1 month ago0----
165Chapter 165: Apathy Doesn't Complain 1 month ago0----
166Chapter 166: The Scroll Does Not Come With the Hours 30 days ago0----
167Chapter 167: Technical Support on Bedroom Mechanics 29 days ago0----
168Chapter 168: A Financial Dividend for Documented Emotional Damages 28 days ago0----
169Chapter 169: The Conqueror Logs In 27 days ago0----
170Chapter 170: The Scenery of the Summit 24 days ago0----
171Chapter 171: Never Touch the Production Database Without Transaction Protection 23 days ago0----
172Chapter 172: The Unhandled Exception 22 days ago0----
173Chapter 173: A Single Leaf in the Mesosphere 21 days ago0----
174Chapter 174: Waiting for the Actual Event to Begin 20 days ago0----
175Chapter 175: The Keeper Who Opens the Door to the Non-Existent 17 days ago0----
176Chapter 176: It Sounds the Least Like a Lie 16 days ago0----
177Chapter 177: A Specimen for the Living Room 15 days ago0----
178Chapter 178: The Door to the Non-Existent 14 days ago0----
179Chapter 179: We Are Breathing Fire, Victoria 13 days ago0----
180Chapter 180: The Geopolitics of the Breakfast Table 10 days ago0----
181Interlude: Micromanaging the Infiltrator 9 days ago0----
182Interlude: The Coat That Has No Business Being White 9 days ago0----
183Interlude: The Scent of Thorns 9 days ago0----
184Interlude: Without Looking Back 9 days ago0----
185Interlude: The Trap at the End of the World 9 days ago0----
186Interlude: No One in the Room 9 days ago0----
187Interlude: Let Us Hope So 9 days ago0----
188Interlude: A Loss Without Vocabulary 9 days ago0----
189Interlude: Before It Touches the Bloom 9 days ago0----
190Interlude: For Whom 9 days ago0----
191Interlude: Before She Looks Back 9 days ago0----
192Interlude: By The Way 9 days ago0----
193Interlude: The Cost of the Gaze 9 days ago0----
194Interlude: Do What You Should 9 days ago0----
195Interlude: All There Was to See 9 days ago0----
196Interlude: A Few More Words 9 days ago0----
197Interlude: Do Not Say Sorry to Others 9 days ago0----
198Interlude: The Culinary Philosophy of Overwhelming Artillery 9 days ago0----
199Interlude: When the Star Blinks 9 days ago0----
200Interlude: The Architecture of an Unplanned Alibi 9 days ago0----
201Interlude: Upon Further Reflection 9 days ago0----
202Chapter 181: The Academic Pressure of a World-Class Girlfriend 9 days ago0----
203Chapter 182: The Finest Academic Discipline Ever Constructed By Sentient Beings 8 days ago0----
204Chapter 183: A Moving Slab of Raw Meat Slapped Onto a Skeleton 7 days ago0----
205Chapter 184: That Box Was Never Meant to Hold Rings 6 days ago0----
206Chapter 185: A Flawlessly Engineered Closed-Loop Economy 3 days ago0----
207Chapter 186: Unauthorized Access Denied 2 days ago0----
208Chapter 187: A Financially Sponsored Holy War 1 day ago0----
209Chapter 188: The Ludwig Scientific Method 15 minutes ago0----