![It's Only a Game, Why Do You Have to be Mad? [Contemporary Cultivation]](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.royalroadcdn.com%2Fpublic%2Fcovers-large%2F148667-its-only-a-game-why-do-you-have-to-be-mad.jpg%3Ftime%3D1772082607&w=640&q=75)
by Lebensohl
[American Capitalistic Xianxia, Two Worlds Collide] Leo Chen didn't expect to transmigrate while shopping at Costco. One moment he was looking for Pokemon cards, the next he and his dad were staring at a million-dollar flying sword hovering between the toilet paper and the olive oil. The cheat comes a little late. A VR game that turns out to be a portal to a real cultivation world, and three Foundation Establishment Americans who adopt him and decide the best way to train his divine sense is to literally crush his consciousness to death every three hours. The good news? He respawns. The bad news? His tiger mom thinks this is a legitimate tutoring program and is thrilled to pay $600,000 a year for spiritual trauma recovery tea if it means Harvard admission. Now Leo's divine sense is growing at impossible speeds, and the school's Flying Aces coach has taken notice. Suddenly he is being scouted as the next star player in America's most prestigious cultivation sport. All it will take is dying eight times a day while helping his new friends plan an interdimensional adventure using flying swords, self-detonations, and a dash of ingenuity. --- This story takes systems from Chinese cultivation novels and reimagines them in an American context. High School, College Football, NFL, Capitalism, and the US Military. Inspired by “I Have a Cultivation World”, “No Money to Cultivate Immortality?”, “World’s Best Martial Artist”, and “Immortality Through Array Formations”. This is a work of fiction. While certain real people, historical events, and organizations are referenced, all depictions are entirely fictional and reimagined for a fantasy setting. Nothing in this story should be taken as fact or as representing the author's opinions.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | Chapter 1: Transmigrated in a Costco | 0 |
| 1 | Chapter 2: Transmigrated Again (?) | 0 |
| 2 | Chapter 3: Speedrunning Divine Sense Training | 0 |
| 3 | Chapter 4: Phillips Exeter Daoist Academy | 0 |
| 4 | Chapter 5: Pond Gazing Losers | 0 |
| 5 | Chapter 6: Insolent Juniors | 0 |
| 6 | Chapter 7: Qi Refinement | 0 |
| 7 | Chapter 8: The Five Elements Spiritual Technique | 0 |
| 8 | Chapter 9: The Parade of the Young Masters | 0 |
| 9 | Chapter 10: The Yale Bulldogs | 0 |
| 10 | Chapter 11: The Duel of Fates | 0 |
| 11 | Chapter 11: 'Acquiring' Training Materials | 0 |
| 12 | Chapter 12: Third Person Perspective | 0 |
| 13 | Chapter 13: What the Heart Wants | 0 |
| 14 | Chapter 14: My Precious | 0 |
| 15 | Chapter 15: Reunion with the Pond Gazers | 0 |
| 16 | Chapter 16: The Briefing | 0 |
| 17 | Chapter 17: Zhou Yangmei | 0 |
| 18 | Chapter 18: Five Minutes | 0 |
| 19 | Chapter 19: Secrets | 0 |
| 20 | Chapter 20: Not-Kevin | 0 |
| 21 | Chapter 21: Back to High School | 0 |
| 22 | Chapter 22: Homecoming | 0 |
| 23 | Chapter 23: Opening Ceremony | 0 |
| 24 | Chapter 24: Quarterfinals | 0 |
| 25 | Chapter 25: Mateo Thandril | 0 |
| 26 | Chapter 26: The Divine Child | 0 |
| 27 | Chapter 27: Divine Blood | 0 |
| 28 | Chapter 28: The Ammo Sect | 0 |
| 29 | Chapter 29: Ignorant Desperadoes | 0 |
| 30 | Chapter 30: Moonrider | 0 |
| 31 | Chapter 31: Beyond the Collegiate Level | 0 |
| 32 | Chapter 32: Team Dinner | 0 |
| 33 | Chapter 33: Garrison Boston | 0 |
| 34 | Chapter 34: The Convoy | 0 |
| 35 | Chapter 35: Rank Hath its Privileges | 0 |
| 36 | Chapter 36: The Fury of the Divine Child | 0 |
| 37 | Chapter 37: The Battle of Kenway-Allston | 0 |
| 38 | Chapter 38: Mutual Resolution of Differences | 0 |
| 39 | Chapter 39: Lord 'Iron'horn | 0 |
| 40 | Chapter 40: The Scorpion | 0 |
| 41 | Chapter 41: His Heart Demon | 0 |
| 42 | Chapter 42: His Generation's Inheritance | 0 |
| 43 | Chapter 43: November Down | 0 |
| 44 | Chapter 44: His Story | 0 |
| 45 | Chapter 45: The Only Solution | 0 |
| 46 | Chapter 46: No Alternatives | 0 |
| 47 | Chapter 47: ELO | 0 |
| 48 | Chapter 48: Reward for Good Grades | 0 |
| 49 | Chapter 49: Tailgating | 0 |
| 50 | Chapter 50: Yale @ Florida | 0 |
| 51 | Chapter 51: The 13th man | 0 |
| 52 | Chapter 52: Don't Gamble Your Retirement | 0 |
| 53 | Chapter 53: Formations Class | 0 |
| 54 | Chapter 54: Eschewing Responsibility | 0 |
| 55 | Chapter 55: Just Some Wheat | 0 |
| 56 | Chapter 56: Flyer 7 | 0 |
| 57 | Chapter 57: Dartmouth @ Yale | 0 |
| 58 | Chapter 58: Ascending Wheat to the Heavens | 0 |
| 59 | Chapter 59: Harvard @ Yale | 0 |
| 60 | Chapter 60: Reunion | 0 |
| 61 | Chapter 61: The Western Seat | 0 |
| 62 | Chapter 62: Clearly Impressed | 0 |
| 63 | Chapter 63: Thousand Talents | 0 |
| 64 | Chapter 64: Another Level of Perspective | 0 |
| 65 | Chapter 65: Yale @ Columbia | 0 |
| 66 | Chapter 66: Learning the Patterns | 0 |
| 67 | Chapter 67: The Path Towards Immortality | 0 |
| 68 | Chapter 68: The World Watches | 0 |
| 69 | Chapter 69: My Desire is Life | 0 |
| 70 | Chapter 70: My Heart is Flesh | 0 |
| 71 | Chapter 71: Skin in the Game | 0 |
| 72 | Chapter 72: New Enemies | 0 |
| 73 | Chapter 73: Banking on his Potential | 0 |
| 74 | Chapter 74: Their Final Game | 0 |
| 75 | Chapter 75: Wings of Azure | 0 |
| 76 | Chapter 76: Heart of the Form | 0 |
| 77 | Chapter 77: The PItch | 0 |
| 78 | Chapter 78: Back Again | 0 |
| 79 | Chapter 79: Kim Yuna | 0 |
| 80 | Chapter 80: In it Together | 0 |
| 81 | Chapter 81: On Formations | 0 |
| 82 | Chapter 82: The Six Slots | 0 |
| 83 | Chapter 83: Mr. Morimoto | 0 |
| 84 | Chapter 84: Inverse Derivation Technique | 0 |
| 85 | Chapter 85: Two Sides | 0 |
| 86 | Chapter 86: Helping in Their Own Way | 0 |
| 87 | Chapter 87: Song and Dance | 0 |
| 88 | Chapter 88: Hot-N-Ready | 0 |
| 89 | Chapter 89: Evaluations | 0 |
| 90 | Chapter 90: The Great War of Western Unification | 0 |
| 91 | Chapter 91: The Battle for Crimson Lotus City | 0 |
| 92 | Chapter 93: The Price of Saving | 0 |
| 93 | Chapter 94: Killing Intent | 0 |
| 94 | Chapter 95: East Germany | 0 |
| 95 | Chapter 96: Taped Duffel Bag | 0 |