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Duck You! [VOL 1 COMPLETE]

Duck You! [VOL 1 COMPLETE]

by AsherVayne

Portal Fantasy / IsekaiComedySlice of LifeAdventureFantasySatireLitRPGPortal Fantasy / IsekaiComedySlice of LifeAdventure
Rising Stars:Satire #28Comedy #50

[RS ✪ Satire List , Comedy List, GameLit] Meet Kai, an overworked, sleep-deprived Lead Backend Developer from London. After spilling a neon-green energy drink on his keyboard and triggering a language-filter glitch with the word "Duck," Kai is sucked into the buggy code of the fantasy game he was building. Armed only with a malfunctioning Voice-to-Text Admin console, Kai must survive by weaponizing his typos like accidentally turning a world-ending "Apocalypse" into an "Alpacalypse" that crushes enemies under a mountain of fluffy llamas, or summoning a 1950s Delicatessen to delete a brick wall. He is joined by the most unoptimized RPG party ever rendered: Sir Gideon: A moss-covered Knight whose legendary sword was accidentally autocorrected into a sticky, sugar-glazed pumpkin. Grom: An 8-foot-tall Orc Guildmaster who wears a tailored suit, treats all combat as "hostile corporate restructuring," and fights with a rotary minigun called "The Severance Package". Maya: The game's enraged Senior Artist who paints Wile E. Coyote-style tunnels onto Blue Screens of Death to escape deletion. Viscount Pigglesworth: An aristocratic NPC who defeats terrifying bosses simply by demanding to speak to their manager and critiquing the terrible fonts on their End User License Agreements. What to Expect:A Broken System: Magic is just bad code, missing textures, and exploiting the economy's 32-bit limit.LitRPG Parody: Boss fights against a singing Purple Dinosaur that deletes you with hugs, a 50-foot psychopathic Paperclip, and corporate "Monetizers" putting reality behind a paywall.No Harem: Just crushing anxiety, massive microtransaction debt, and weaponized bureaucratic entitlement. (Upload Schedule: Daily through February. 5x weekly starting March.) I only share my work on Royal Road and Scribble Hub. If you are reading this somewhere else, it was put there without my permission.

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Current Rank
#28
Peak Rank
#1
Followers
377
0
Story Timeline

Started

3mo ago

Entered Comedy RS

2mo ago

#13 Comedy

2mo ago

10

2mo ago

20

2mo ago

50

2mo ago

100

2mo ago

Entered Satire RS

2mo ago

#1 Satire

2mo ago

250

1mo ago

Left Comedy RS

3w ago

OverviewEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
88
0
FVR
0.78%
Rating
4.68
Ratings
36
0
Reviews
20
0
Comments
N/A
0
RS Days
96
Total Chapters
106
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
0Chapter 1: Duck You!0----
1Chapter 2: The Unrendered Zone0----
2Chapter 3: The Loading Screen & The Vegetable Knight0----
3Chapter 4: The Bass of Entry0----
4Chapter 5: The Alpacalypse0----
5Chapter 6: The Bill of Consequences0----
6Chapter 7: The Glazed Blade and the Viscount0----
7Chapter 8: The Texture of Fear0----
8Chapter 9: The Buffering Heroes0----
9Chapter 10: The Paperclip of Doom0----
10Chapter 11: The Terms of Departure0----
11Chapter 12: The Al Dente Campfire0----
12Chapter 13: The Scroll of Infinite Liability0----
13Chapter 14: The CAPTCHA Guardian0----
14Chapter 15: The Cache of Cookies0----
15Chapter 16: The Live Stream0----
16Chapter 17: The Village of 4040----
17Chapter 18: The Great Firewall0----
18Chapter 19: The 800-Pound Gorilla0----
19Chapter 20: The King of the Jungle0----
20Chapter 21:The Swamp of Sadness0----
21Chapter 22: The Market of Misfits0----
22Chapter 23: The Tavern of Lorem Ipsum 0----
23Chapter 24: Dangerous Dave0----
24Chapter 25: Saved by the Bell0----
25Chapter 26: The Trash Can of Destiny0----
26Chapter 27: The Court of Red Tape0----
27Chapter 28: The Recycle Bin0----
28Chapter 29: Error 404: Violence Not Found0----
29Chapter 30:Liquid Assets0----
30Chapter 31: Nap time is forever0----
31Chapter 32: The Floor is Lava0----
32Chapter 33: The Wheels on the Knight0----
33Chapter 34: The Lossy Compression0----
34Chapter 35: License to Clip0----
35Chapter 36: The Buffer Overflow0----
36Chapter 37: PTSD ( Post Traumatic Soft Disorder)0----
37Chapter 38: The City of Naym-Pen-Ding0----
38Chapter 39: Saint Gordon’s Chariot0----
39Chapter 40: The Log Files0----
40Chapter 41: Brie-aking the Laws of Physics0----
41Chapter 42: Sudo Judo0----
42Chapter 43: The Kinetic Feedback0----
43Chapter 44: The Blue Screen of Style0----
44Chapter 45: 270 Degrees of Separation0----
45Chapter 46: The 8 lbs/£ Demon0----
46Chapter 47: The God of Spilled Coffee0----
47Chapter 48: The Good, The Bad, and The Loading Bar0----
48Chapter 49: 2 Fast 0 Friction0----
49Chapter 50: For a Few Textures More ...0----
50Chapter 51: The Meatball Compliance Protocol0----
51Chapter 52: The Montage of Mediocrity0----
52Chapter 53: The Great Polish0----
53Chapter 54: The Leek Syndicate0----
54Chapter 55: Too Big to Fail0----
55Chapter 56: Don’t Feed the Troll0----
56Chapter 57: Forced Perspective0----
57Chapter 58: Sunset Protocol0----
58Chapter 59: Total Whitespace0----
59Chapter 60: Read-Only Mode0----
60Chapter 61: The Customer Is Always Right0----
61Chapter 62: Critical Mass0----
62Chapter 63: Duck Ex Machina0----
63END OF BOOK 10----
64Chapter 1: The Kingdom of Grey0----
65Chapter 2: Mind the Gap0----
66Chapter 3: Home Sweet Dungeon0----
67Chapter 4: ERROR 404 - Employee not found0----
68Chapter 5: The Millwall Firewall0----
69Chapter 6: The Spreadsheet Shield0----
70Chapter 7: Ctrl-Alt-Delicatessen0----
71Chapter 8: The Shattered Partition0----
72Chapter 9:The Quarantine Protocol0----
73Chapter 10: Unsupported Hardware0----
74Chapter 11: Retail Dungeon0----
75Chapter 12: Flagship Experience0----
76Chapter 13: The Termination Interview0----
77Chapter 14: The Performance Review0----
78Chapter 15: Unpaid Overtime0----
79Chapter 16: Compile Error0----
80Chapter 17: The Paywall0----
81Chapter 18: The Rose & Crown0----
82Chapter 19: Legacy Code0----
83Chapter 20: The Tetris Protocol0----
84Chapter 21: Mandatory Factory Reset0----
85Chapter 22: The Bureaucratic Side Quest0----
86Chapter 23: Godefroy de Montmirail0----
87Chapter 24: The Free-to-Play Downgrade0----
88Chapter 25: Infinite Momentum0----
89Chapter 26: The Roaming Tariff0----
90Chapter 27: Unlimited Corporate Account0----
91Chapter 28: The Monetized City0----
92Chapter 29: La Vie en Rose0----
93Chapter 30: The Museum of Paywalls0----
94Chapter 31: Arsene Lootin’0----
95Chapter 32: The Opt-out Clause0----
96Chapter 33: Checkout Required0----
97Chapter 34: The Debugger0----
98Chapter 35: All Roads Are Mine0----
99Chapter 36: Between Two Servers0----
100Chapter 37: The Colosseum of Engagement0----
101Chapter 38: The Algorithm Demands Blood0----
102Chapter 39: Clout is thicker than Blood0----
103Chapter 40: The Ratio0----
104Chapter 41: Unallocated Space0----
105Chapter 42: Rollback to Omni0----