
by D.N. Newyn
The Knighthood shall die with me. Not because I would slay them. They were already dead, the useless lot, and I was the most useless of all. For I, Sir Henry Hildebraud of Mostenstein, was the last of the Knights of Saint Merin. And I was about to die. If only I had a sliver of magic, I could have fought back against those mages. But I had none. In a world full of magic, what could a knight like me possibly do with swords and shields? Ah, but what luck! Suddenly, a rock fell on my head, granting me a system . . . and I became a hundred times more intimidating. The not-so-lucky part, though . . . I didn’t get any stronger. The only stat that got multiplied was my Intimidation, an attribute I had never once asked for and could not, for the life of me, seem to turn off. Which would have been fine, if every time I spoke, I didn’t threaten to massacre the local populace against my will. Left with no choice, I, Sir Henry Hildebraud of Mostenstein, would have to survive by pretending to be the strongest man in the world. Fate, in its infinite mockery, decreed that I seek out the woman who supposedly knew how I could rise above this mess and restore the Order of Saint Merin to its former glory. Shame she was, by all reputable accounts, a total weirdo. WHAT TO EXPECT: Weak-to-strong Comedy (the terrifying kind, but still comedy) Accidental aura farming Super down bad love interest OP Intimidation Skill tree with insane downsides Dungeon grinding Knightly moral code Pathway-based progression system Power couple restoring the Knighthood (eventually . . .) Read 37 chapters ahead on Patreon, or join the Discord if you wanna talk about it.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | Chapter 1: The Knighthood shall die with me | 0 |
| 1 | Chapter 2: Sir Henry, Destroyer of Common Slimes | 0 |
| 2 | Chapter 3: Aim for the water, not your own dignity! | 0 |
| 3 | Chapter 4: I am the kind that makes reenactments real | 0 |
| 4 | Chapter 5: I am officially turning into a scrap digger | 0 |
| 5 | Chapter 6: You can’t twist what I don’t say | 0 |
| 6 | Chapter 7: How many passives do I even have? | 0 |
| 7 | Chapter 8: What sort of magic bases itself on probability? | 0 |
| 8 | Chapter 9: How will you punish me, good Sir? | 0 |
| 9 | Chapter 10: I don’t care about romantic interests! | 0 |
| 10 | Chapter 11: She looks like a deranged criminal | 0 |
| 11 | Chapter 12: I am my armor, and my armor is I | 0 |
| 12 | Chapter 13: You could very well be the reason slimes exist! | 0 |
| 13 | Chapter 14: You underestimate my capacity for poor decisions and misplaced perseverance | 0 |
| 14 | Chapter 15: You appear to be in grave distress! | 0 |
| 15 | YOU SHALL READ THIS ANNOUNCEMENT, MORTALS | 0 |
| 16 | Chapter 16: Impudent sorceress! | 0 |
| 17 | Chapter 17: It is for you, Lady Anabeth, that I restrain such devastation | 0 |
| 18 | Chapter 18: THY STATION IS AMONG STONES, NOT STOMACHS! | 0 |
| 19 | THE HOUR APPROACHES: CLAIM OR PERISH, MORTAL | 0 |
| 20 | Chapter 19: The doctrine of arithmetically justified violence! | 0 |
| 21 | Chapter 20: The sacred rite of Reconstitution through Alchemical Faith! | 0 |
| 22 | Chapter 21: This was all part of the plan | 0 |
| 23 | Chapter 22: Merchants shall know the weight of my purse | 0 |
| 24 | Chapter 23: Place your hand here, Ser | 0 |
| 25 | Chapter 24: You possess a touch that would make a lady flinch | 0 |
| 26 | Chapter 25: I am in the mood for murder | 0 |
| 27 | Chapter 26: Ah! I’m hurt! | 0 |
| 28 | Chapter 27: Romantic and geographically disoriented | 0 |
| 29 | Chapter 28: My first thank you from Sir Knight himself! | 0 |
| 30 | Chapter 29: A knight must take the valiant path | 0 |
| 31 | Chapter 30: A sellable bauble was a sellable bauble | 0 |
| 32 | Chapter 31: This thing could murder me in two strikes | 0 |
| 33 | Chapter 32: Sheer statistical inevitability | 0 |
| 34 | Important Changes Made | 0 |
| 35 | Chapter 33: A valiant knight always had a Plan B | 0 |
| 36 | Chapter 34: He didn’t even know I had just saved his ink shelf | 0 |
| 37 | Chapter 35: Getting cozy with each other already! | 0 |
| 38 | Chapter 36: The Foundational Manifold of Meridian-Coupled Vector Delineation | 0 |
| 39 | Chapter 37: A polite, well-mannered crackle of electricity | 0 |
| 40 | Chapter 38: My perfect beam of concentrated disapproval | 0 |
| 41 | Chapter 39: Wrong with artistry | 0 |
| 42 | Chapter 40: I didn’t realize you had... flesh | 0 |
| 43 | Chapter 41: YOUR TEETH ARE NOT REQUIRED FOR HER EVENTUAL ACQUISITION | 0 |
| 44 | Chapter 42: Maybe this was who she really was | 0 |
| 45 | Chapter 43: People like her didn’t stay | 0 |
| 46 | Chapter 44: Saint Merin forbade me from fighting on equal grounds | 0 |
| 47 | Chapter 45: Knights are famously susceptible to morale degradation if confined indoors too long | 0 |
| 48 | Chapter 46: What kind of power move is this? | 0 |
| 49 | Chapter 47: You’re a self-respecting knight and she’s a masochist! | 0 |
| 50 | Chapter 48: Was she simply... irresistible? | 0 |
| 51 | Chapter 49: I must eat the flower | 0 |
| 52 | Chapter 50: Ah! I’ve just sneezed | 0 |
| 53 | Chapter 51: Your favorite slime juice! | 0 |
| 54 | Chapter 52: A Night To Remember— | 0 |
| 55 | Chapter 53: Stop whipping its ass! | 0 |
| 56 | Chapter 54: Ceralis, take the wheel | 0 |
| 57 | Chapter 55: Aesthetic-based terrorism | 0 |
| 58 | Chapter 56: In too deep to care | 0 |
| 59 | Chapter 56.1: When you desire, you reach for law (18+) | 0 |
| 60 | Chapter 57: Bacon implied intent | 0 |
| 61 | Most Important Announcement Of The Day | 0 |
| 62 | Chapter 58: Do not initiate debauchery. We are in a Slime Dungeon | 0 |
| 63 | Chapter 59: How long could she monologue for? | 0 |
| 64 | Chapter 60: A wealthy household I’ve never seen before! | 0 |