
by D.N. Newyn
The Knighthood shall die with me. Not because I would slay them. They were already dead, the useless lot, and I was the most useless of all. For I, Sir Henry Hildebraud of Mostenstein, was the last of the Knights of Saint Merin. And I was about to die. If only I had a sliver of magic, I could have fought back against those mages. But I had none. In a world full of magic, what could a knight like me possibly do with swords and shields? Ah, but what luck! Suddenly, a rock fell on my head, granting me a system . . . and I became a hundred times more intimidating. The not-so-lucky part, though . . . I didn’t get any stronger. The only stat that got multiplied was my Intimidation, an attribute I had never once asked for and could not, for the life of me, seem to turn off. Which would have been fine, if every time I spoke, I didn’t threaten to massacre the local populace against my will. Left with no choice, I, Sir Henry Hildebraud of Mostenstein, would have to survive by pretending to be the strongest man in the world. Fate, in its infinite mockery, decreed that I seek out the woman who supposedly knew how I could rise above this mess and restore the Order of Saint Merin to its former glory. Shame she was, by all reputable accounts, a total weirdo. WHAT TO EXPECT: Weak-to-strong Comedy (the terrifying kind, but still comedy) Accidental aura farming Super down bad love interest OP Intimidation Skill tree with insane downsides Dungeon grinding Knightly moral code Pathway-based progression system Power couple restoring the Knighthood (eventually . . .) Read 37 chapters ahead on Patreon, or join the Discord if you wanna talk about it.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Chapter 1: The Knighthood shall die with me (EDITED) 8 months ago | 0 |
| 2 | Chapter 2: Sir Henry, Destroyer of Common Slimes (EDITED) 8 months ago | 0 |
| 3 | Chapter 3: Aim for the water, not your own dignity! (EDITED) 8 months ago | 0 |
| 4 | Chapter 4: I am the kind that makes reenactments real (EDITED) 8 months ago | 0 |
| 5 |
| Chapter 5: I am officially turning into a scrap digger (EDITED) 8 months ago |
| 0 |
| 6 | Chapter 6: You can’t twist what I don’t say (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 7 | Chapter 7: How many passives do I even have? (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 8 | Chapter 8: What sort of magic bases itself on probability? (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 9 | Chapter 9: How will you punish me, good Sir? (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 10 | Chapter 10: I don’t care about romantic interests! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 11 | Chapter 11: She looks like a deranged criminal (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 12 | Chapter 12: I am my armor, and my armor is I (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 13 | Chapter 13: You could very well be the reason slimes exist! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 14 | Chapter 14: You are bound to slip up one of these days! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 15 | Chapter 15: You appear to be in grave distress! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 16 | YOU SHALL READ THIS ANNOUNCEMENT, MORTALS 7 months ago | 0 |
| 17 | Chapter 16: Impudent sorceress! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 18 | Chapter 17: It is for you, Lady Anabeth, that I restrain such devastation (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 19 | Chapter 18: THY STATION IS AMONG STONES, NOT STOMACHS! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 20 | THE HOUR APPROACHES: CLAIM OR PERISH, MORTAL 7 months ago | 0 |
| 21 | Chapter 19: The doctrine of arithmetically justified violence! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 22 | Chapter 20: The sacred rite of Reconstitution through Alchemical Faith! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 23 | Chapter 21: This was all part of the plan (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 24 | Chapter 22: Merchants shall curse the day they learned to haggle with me (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 25 | Chapter 23: Place your hand here, Ser (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 26 | Chapter 24: You possess a touch that would make a lady flinch (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 27 | Chapter 25: I am in the mood for murder (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 28 | Chapter 26: Ah! I’m hurt! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 29 | Chapter 27: Romantic and geographically disoriented (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 30 | Chapter 28: My first thank you from Sir Knight himself! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 31 | Chapter 29: A knight must take the valiant path (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 32 | Chapter 30: A sellable bauble was a sellable bauble (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 33 | Chapter 31: This thing could murder me in two strikes (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 34 | Chapter 32: Sheer statistical inevitability (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 35 | Important Changes Made 7 months ago | 0 |
| 36 | Chapter 33: A valiant knight always had a Plan B (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 37 | Chapter 34: He didn’t even know I had just saved his ink shelf (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 38 | Chapter 35: Getting cozy with each other already! (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 39 | Chapter 36: The Foundational Manifold of Meridian-Coupled Vector Delineation (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 40 | Chapter 37: A polite, well-mannered crackle of electricity (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 41 | Chapter 38: My perfect beam of concentrated disapproval (EDITED) 7 months ago | 0 |
| 42 | Chapter 39: Wrong with artistry (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 43 | Chapter 40: I didn’t realize you had... flesh (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 44 | Chapter 41: YOUR TEETH ARE NOT REQUIRED FOR HER EVENTUAL ACQUISITION (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 45 | Chapter 42: Maybe this was who she really was (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 46 | Chapter 43: People like her didn’t stay (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 47 | Chapter 44: Saint Merin forbade me from fighting on equal grounds (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 48 | Chapter 45: Knights are famously susceptible to morale degradation if confined indoors (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 49 | Chapter 46: What kind of power move is this? (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 50 | Chapter 47: You’re a self-respecting knight and she’s a masochist! 6 months ago | 0 |
| 51 | Chapter 48: Was she simply... irresistible? 6 months ago | 0 |
| 52 | Chapter 49: I must eat the flower 6 months ago | 0 |
| 53 | Chapter 50: Ah! I’ve just sneezed 6 months ago | 0 |
| 54 | Chapter 51: Your favorite slime juice! 6 months ago | 0 |
| 55 | Chapter 52: A Night To Remember— 6 months ago | 0 |
| 56 | Chapter 53: Stop whipping its arse! 6 months ago | 0 |
| 57 | Chapter 54: Ceralis, take the wheel 6 months ago | 0 |
| 58 | Chapter 55: Aesthetic-based terrorism 6 months ago | 0 |
| 59 | Chapter 56: In too deep to care 6 months ago | 0 |
| 60 | Chapter 56.1: When you desire, you reach for law 6 months ago | 0 |
| 61 | Chapter 57: Bacon implied intent 6 months ago | 0 |
| 62 | Most Important Announcement Of The Day 6 months ago | 0 |
| 63 | Chapter 58: Do not initiate debauchery. We are in a Slime Dungeon 6 months ago | 0 |
| 64 | Chapter 59: How long could she monologue for? 6 months ago | 0 |
| 65 | Chapter 60: A wealthy household I’ve never seen before! 6 months ago | 0 |
| 66 | Chapter 61: Don’t worry, Sir! That beam is non-lethal. (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 67 | Chapter 62: Bless bureaucracy! (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 68 | Chapter 63: The EXTREMELY HOLY SLASH OF KNIGHTLY JUSTICE! (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 69 | Chapter 64: You are so very charming when you threaten annihilation (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 70 | Chapter 65: I hate you so much, Ceralis (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 71 | Chapter 66: Are we something? (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 72 | Chapter 67: Primordial fangirl (EDITED) 6 months ago | 0 |
| 73 | Chapter 68: I am the maker of reality (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 74 | Chapter 69: Did you forget to feed the horse? (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 75 | Chapter 70: By our, she meant hers (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 76 | Chapter 70.1: This is… strategically horizontal (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 77 | Chapter 71: The younger the infant, the better (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 78 | Chapter 72: I would eat my flowers (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 79 | Chapter 73: We’re so going to get accused of witchcraft (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 80 | Chapter 74: Anabeth should be the last person to talk about discipline… (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 81 | Chapter 75: The Ferrum Lord has arrived (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 82 | Chapter 76: Do not disrupt my ferrum-flux crystallization cycle 5 months ago | 0 |
| 83 | Chapter 77: Knowledge drawn from the unfathomably deep well of my strategic acumen (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 84 | Chapter 78: Consistently pathetic (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 85 | Chapter 79: Why did Ceralis even track that metric? (EDITED) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 86 | Chapter 80: He’s new to thinking past the next five seconds 5 months ago | 0 |
| 87 | Chapter 81: You serve justice with a longsword and a girl shorter than your shoulder? 5 months ago | 0 |
| 88 | Chapter 82: Then she proceeded to steal it 5 months ago | 0 |
| 89 | Chapter 83: She was an exceptional thaumaturge 5 months ago | 0 |
| 90 | Chapter 84: Temptations must queue behind necessity 5 months ago | 0 |
| 91 | Chapter 85: This aura… it was overwhelming 5 months ago | 0 |
| 92 | Chapter 86: Did you suddenly develop an interest in bone theology, my lord? 5 months ago | 0 |
| 93 | Chapter 87: It will save time, once I start rearranging their insides 5 months ago | 0 |
| 94 | Chapter 88: I am Bertha Van von Reigenfeld aus Nieder-Karnach Dürenschlag der Jüngeren 5 months ago | 0 |
| 95 | Chapter 89: Call me Henry (Book 1 Ending) 5 months ago | 0 |
| 96 | Chapter 90: Anabeth, stop… 5 months ago | 0 |
| 97 | Chapter 91: Any objections? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 98 | Chapter 92: You can stop speaking now 4 months ago | 0 |
| 99 | Chapter 92.1: No, you slow down! 4 months ago | 0 |
| 100 | Chapter 93: The Lord shall return 4 months ago | 0 |
| 101 | Chapter 94: What are you going to do about it, huh? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 102 | Chapter 95: This was so shameless I felt like Anabeth 4 months ago | 0 |
| 103 | Chapter 96: Mortal indulgences can be quite intoxicating, my good Sir 4 months ago | 0 |
| 104 | Chapter 97: I looked very correct 4 months ago | 0 |
| 105 | Chapter 98: A Knight of Saint Merin did not win like that 4 months ago | 0 |
| 106 | Chapter 99: 1% of his power 4 months ago | 0 |
| 107 | Chapter 100: Would you like a regular slime juice or a marsh slime juice, Sir? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 108 | Chapter 101: Careful. I bruise easily 4 months ago | 0 |
| 109 | Chapter 102: You’ll scare the next one off 4 months ago | 0 |
| 110 | Chapter 103: Won’t you, my Knight? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 111 | Chapter 104: You don’t gamble 4 months ago | 0 |
| 112 | Chapter 105: Fair and square 4 months ago | 0 |
| 113 | Chapter 106: I volunteer to be your test subject 4 months ago | 0 |
| 114 | Chapter 107: Then what was I talking about? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 115 | Chapter 108: Shove your snide observations back in your mouth and keep them there 4 months ago | 0 |
| 116 | Chapter 109: Do you wish to win, or do you wish to expose the cheater? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 117 | Chapter 110: Show me how else you fail to touch me 4 months ago | 0 |
| 118 | Chapter 111: Yes. I have punched him 4 months ago | 0 |
| 119 | Chapter 111.2: Personal Progression Log 3 months ago | 0 |
| 120 | Chapter 112: She converted her excess kinetic enthusiasm into dignity 3 months ago | 0 |
| 121 | Chapter 113: You, sir, are a knight 3 months ago | 0 |
| 122 | Chapter 114: If only some gallant knight would remove these suffocating layers of clothing on me 3 months ago | 0 |
| 123 | Chapter 115: A mark against my otherwise impeccable character 3 months ago | 0 |
| 124 | Chapter 115.1: I desperately beseeched the heavens for a bout of erectile dysfunction 3 months ago | 0 |
| 125 | Chapter 115.2: Yew haf wery beaw-tifu’ chest, Sir 3 months ago | 0 |
| 126 | Chapter 115.3: The bottleneck is too much 3 months ago | 0 |
| 127 | Chapter 116: Etiquette is a fluid concept, my champion 3 months ago | 0 |
| 128 | Chapter 117: I’d seen more bizarre encounters before 3 months ago | 0 |
| 129 | Chapter 118: May I borrow Sir Hildebraud for a moment? 3 months ago | 0 |
| 130 | Chapter 119: Is your Lady always like that? 3 months ago | 0 |
| 131 | Chapter 120: Consider yourself fortunate, Anabeth of the Quill 3 months ago | 0 |
| 132 | Chapter 121: I could still feel the tingle of Anabeth’s aether coursing through me 3 months ago | 0 |
| 133 | Chapter 122: Time to yield, faithless cur 3 months ago | 0 |
| 134 | Short Announcement 3 months ago | 0 |
| 135 | Chapter 123: Another cur wanders in 3 months ago | 0 |
| 136 | Chapter 124: He said that, not me 3 months ago | 0 |
| 137 | Chapter 125: Whoever is doing this, show yourself! 3 months ago | 0 |
| 138 | Chapter 126: Your burden, then 2 months ago | 0 |
| 139 | Chapter 127: Sometimes the best course of action was simply to ram straight through the problem 2 months ago | 0 |
| 140 | Chapter 128: Ignore the intimidation. Solve the problem 2 months ago | 0 |
| 141 | Chapter 129: It's time for your repentance 2 months ago | 0 |
| 142 | Chapter 130: Marziner died to this? 2 months ago | 0 |
| 143 | Chapter 131: By the Saints, I am stupid 2 months ago | 0 |
| 144 | Chapter 132: I hate you 2 months ago | 0 |
| 145 | Chapter 133: This is the reckoning of the Knighthood 2 months ago | 0 |
| 146 | Chapter 134: The Lord is much too dramatic to die a mundane death 2 months ago | 0 |
| 147 | Chapter 135: Murder? It is just a misunderstanding 2 months ago | 0 |
| 148 | Chapter 136: I’m not the one. I’m not even Level 12 2 months ago | 0 |
| 149 | Chapter 137: Path Unlocked: Path of The Disgraced Light 2 months ago | 0 |
| 150 | Chapter 138: This is a disaster 2 months ago | 0 |
| 151 | Chapter 139: Yes, of course. Whatever you say 2 months ago | 0 |
| 152 | Chapter 140: The Second Coming of Administrative Problems 2 months ago | 0 |
| 153 | Chapter 141: A shepherd who refuses burdens is merely a man carrying a lantern 2 months ago | 0 |
| 154 | Chapter 142: We are stepping down now! 2 months ago | 0 |
| 155 | Chapter 143: Grr 2 months ago | 0 |
| 156 | Chapter 144: I already am (End of Book 2) 2 months ago | 0 |
| 157 | Additions to world-building 2 months ago | 0 |
| 158 | Chapter 145: The town was ours 2 months ago | 0 |
| 159 | Chapter 146: Maybe next time don’t mind-control people 2 months ago | 0 |
| 160 | Chapter 147: You said my favorite word (Compensation) 2 months ago | 0 |
| 161 | Chapter 148: I’ve acquired the relevant requisite breadth of martial incompetence 2 months ago | 0 |
| 162 | Chapter 149: Name me a priest who carries a sword 2 months ago | 0 |
| 163 | Chapter 150: Apparently, his name’s Night 2 months ago | 0 |
| 164 | Chapter 151: Purely a vestibular misalignment, I assure you 2 months ago | 0 |
| 165 | Chapter 152: She’s also blind, I might add! 2 months ago | 0 |
| 166 | Chapter 153: The textbooks never mentioned this bottleneck 1 month ago | 0 |
| 167 | Chapter 154: That sounds dangerous. I will try it now! 1 month ago | 0 |
| 168 | Chapter 155: Legitimacy (Pious Lecher): +1 1 month ago | 0 |
| 169 | Chapter 156: We were too occupied basking ourselves in your Saintly presence 1 month ago | 0 |
| 170 | Motion Comic Dub Adaptation of MIK 1 month ago | 0 |
| 171 | Chapter 157: I finished eating the flower 1 month ago | 0 |
| 172 | Chapter 158: They follow me sometimes 1 month ago | 0 |
| 173 | Chapter 159: Dungeons worked in mysterious ways 1 month ago | 0 |
| 174 | HELP! 1 month ago | 0 |
| 175 | Chapter 160: You seem knowledgeable about dogs 1 month ago | 0 |
| 176 | Chapter 161: Could everyone stop moving for a second? 1 month ago | 0 |
| 177 | Chapter 162: You will submit now 1 month ago | 0 |
| 178 | Chapter 163: Anomalous Material Detected 1 month ago | 0 |
| 179 | Short Announcement 1 month ago | 0 |
| 180 | Chapter 164: The Bearer definitely comes from somewhere ridiculous 29 days ago | 0 |
| 181 | Chapter 165: You’d kiss his toe if he asks 22 days ago | 0 |
| 182 | Chapter 166: Remind me never to say ‘false alert’ again 19 days ago | 0 |
| 183 | Addition to Book 2 Church Arc (Radiant Concord Arc) 17 days ago | 0 |
| 184 | Chapter 167: How does he know all that? 16 days ago | 0 |
| 185 | MIK Comic Dub Update 15 days ago | 0 |
| 186 | Chapter 95.1: I just want to live! (EDITED) 11 days ago | 0 |
| 187 | Chapter 168: Stop admiring your own marksmanship 7 days ago | 0 |
| 188 | Chapter 169: A Knight of the Saints does not give up 2 minutes ago | 0 |