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This Machine Slays Dragons

This Machine Slays Dragons

by W. Jefferson Smith

ActionComedyDystopiaFantasyFemale Lead

Book one is available on Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Dalex may have died, and his body may have been abducted by aliens, but that's not going to stop him from living his best isekai life. Resurrected and transported halfway across the galaxy to do the aliens' grunt work, Dalex finds himself in command of a starship with enough firepower to destroy a solar system. He’s accompanied by a snarky android assistant to help him learn what all the buttons do and has a mission to stop the aliens' competitors from stealing all the valuable local minerals. As a fantasy nerd, science fiction isn’t his genre. Lucky for him, the habitable planets nearby are covered in elves, beastmen, orcs, and dragons. Seven unique worlds overflow with magical power just waiting to fulfill his every wish. Unlucky for him, the dragons are fascist authoritarians bent on squeezing all the magic out of the elves and then exterminating them. And they use the native humans as their overseers. It totally ruins Dalex’s image of the noble dragon and is embarrassing to him as a fellow human. But, with the proper application of a post-singularity species’ most powerful weapons, all given new fantasy-appropriate names, Dalex can probably give that dark cloud a silver lining. It’s open season on all tyrannical wyrms. Book one is available on Kindle Unlimited and Amazon New chapters posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Cover art by Heitor Santos/ REDHOTIEH

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Followers
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Story Timeline

Started

12mo ago

Tracking

2mo ago

OverviewViews and follower statisticsEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
252
+252
FVR
1.44%
Rating
4.34
Ratings
88
+88
Reviews
N/A
0
Comments
N/A
0
RS Days
0
Total Chapters
164
Total Words
0
Avg Length
0
Analyzed
0
Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Book One - Chapter 1: UFO-kun is at it again0----
2Book One - Chapter 2: Let me show you to your cubicle0----
3Book One - Chapter 3: It explodes what now?0----
4Book Two - Chapter 1: The customer is always right!0----
5Book Two - Chapter 2: You shall not... eh, you know the rest0---
-
6Book Two - Chapter 3: Here's to you, Sitoa0----
7Book Two - Chapter 4: Road trip!0----
8Book Two - Chapter 5: You're gonna get some hop ons0----
9Book Two - Chapter 6: Mom, can we keep him?0----
10Book Two - Chapter 7: What about a bath?0----
11Book Two - Chapter 8: Yes, we knew all along, sadly...0----
12Book Two - Chapter 9: It's me, your daughter. Take me to your leader.0----
13Book Two - Chapter 10: Is this an RPG or an RTS?0----
14Book Two - Chapter 11: Dragons don't count0----
15Book Two - Chapter 12: You had me at "dungeon"0----
16Book Two - Chapter 13: I think I checked it at the door0----
17Book Two - Chapter 14: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery0----
18Book Two - Chapter 15: I was crossing my fingers0----
19Book Two - Chapter 16: Does this count as charm?0----
20Book Two - Chapter 17: Win, lose, or draw, someone's getting wined and dined0----
21Book Two - Chapter 18: These boots were made for kicking0----
22Book Two - Chapter 19: Not buying it, eh?0----
23Book Two - Chapter 20: Oops0----
24Book Two - Chapter 21: For some reason I'm craving kebabs0----
25Book Two - Chapter 22: Training is overdue0----
26Book Two - Chapter 23: But that thing...0----
27Book Two - Chapter 24: Second time's the charm0----
28Book Two - Chapter 25: Dalex of the what?0----
29Book Two - Chapter 26: Crikey!0----
30Book Two - Chapter 27: Who put puzzles in my spectacle fighter?0----
31Book Two - Chapter 28: On the wings of demons0----
32Book Two - Chapter 29: If you want to surprise someone, lose the battle cry0----
33Book Two - Chapter 30: Cannon ball!0----
34Book Two - Chapter 31: Got 'im quaking in his boots0----
35Book Two - Chapter 32: The only good orc...0----
36Book Two - Chapter 33: Maybe he just needed some alone time0----
37Book Two - Chapter 34: You've convinced me0----
38Book Two - Chapter 35: His resell value is dropping like a rock0----
39Book Two - Chapter 36: Don't avert your eyes0----
40Book Two - Chapter 37: Maybe I'll mount him on my wall0----
41Book Two - Chapter 38: And introducing special guest...0----
42Book Two - Chapter 39: Story time!0----
43Book Two - Chapter 40: Don't pin this on me0----
44Book Two - Chapter 41: Will they be doing any riveting?0----
45Book Two - Chapter 42: An unspoken promise0----
46Book Two - Chapter 43: Road trip!0----
47Book Two - Chapter 44: That smile... that damned smile0----
48Book Two - Chapter 45: PETA's gonna be all over my ass0----
49Book Two - Chapter 46: Introductions are not in order0----
50Book Two - Chapter 47: The monster under her bed0----
51Book Two - Chapter 48: The student has surpassed the master0----
52Book Two - Chapter 49: Did you have to clone that part too?0----
53Book Two - Chapter 50: Alien venison or oversized crab legs?0----
54Book Two - Chapter 51: Look what the rat dragged in0----
55Book Two - Chapter 52: That was the warm, here comes the frosty0----
56Book Two - Chapter 53: Message received0----
57Book Two - Chapter 54: Diggy diggy bloody bloody0----
58Book 1 of "This Machine Slays Dragons" stubbing on/around July 24th0----
59Book Two - Chapter 55: Tribial cirpuit blamage0----
60Book Two - Chapter 56: Release from the kraken0----
61Book Two - Chapter 57: Girl knows what she wants (II)0----
62Book Two - Chapter 58: That breeze is bracing0----
63Book Two - Chapter 59: You know I can hear you, right?0----
64Book Two - Chapter 60: Bring 'em on0----
65Book Two - Chapter 61: Mother of the year0----
66Book Two - Chapter 62: Ouch0----
67Book Two - Chapter 63: Owen Little Part 10----
68Book Two - Chapter 64: Owen Little Part 20----
69Book Two - Chapter 65: A courageous plunge0----
70Book Two - Chapter 66: Can you even call it bathing?0----
71Book Two - Chapter 67: Let's split up, gang!0----
72Book Two - Chapter 68: She's been droppin' eaves0----
73Book Two - Chapter 69: The Gatekeeper0----
74Book Two - Chapter 70: Mountain gurus give the sharpest advice0----
75Book Two - Chapter 71: Fine, you can ride shotgun0----
76Book Two - Chapter 72: What will they be serving?0----
77Book Two - Chapter 73: The Banquet—----
78Book Two - Chapter 74: The Secret—----
79Book Two - Chapter 75: Choke on it—----
80Book Two - Chapter 76: Dewey help me—----
81Book Two - Chapter 77: Butterfingers—----
82Book Two - Chapter 78: Measure twice, detonate once—----
83Book Two - Chapter 79: Like mother—----
84Book Two - Chapter 80: I sense some plagarism—----
85Book Two - Chapter 81: Brother and sister—----
86Book Two - Chapter 82: Until our next meeting—----
87Book Two - Chapter 83: Don't tell mom—----
88Book Two - Chapter 84: Pleasure killing—----
89Book Two - Chapter 85: Operators, past and present—----
90Book Two - Chapter 86: Just draw on my face next time—----
91Book Two - Chapter 87: Epilogue—----
92Chapter 4: Way to bury the lede, Jeremy...0----
93Chapter 5: What caliber is the protein bar?0----
94Chapter 6: You don't know me but I'm a big fan0----
95Chapter 7: I ain't no lord0----
96Chapter 8: Quiet on set0----
97Chapter 9: I only pity the chameleon0----
98Chapter 10: State the nature of your medical emergency0----
99Chapter 11: The sign says no solicitors0----
100Chapter 12: Guy can't take a hint0----
101Chapter 13: Your dog got out again0----
102Chapter 14: She doesn't lack for ambition0----
103Chapter 15: Big dragon is watching0----
104Chapter 16: That's the worst news I've had all week0----
105Chapter 17: No good deed goes unrewarded0----
106Chapter 18: Will hunt mutts for food0----
107Chapter 18B: He left me in a black hole0----
108Chapter 19: There is no mutt invasion in Gaia Eta0----
109Chapter 20: Do I taste that good?0----
110Chapter 21: Get that paper0----
111Chapter 22: Danger close0----
112Chapter 23: I'm fighting for my life0----
113Chapter 24: Girl knows what she wants0----
114Chapter 25: Who let you in?0----
115Chapter 26: Tell me0----
116Chapter 27: Pleased to meet you, now go away0----
117Chapter 28: Like a bad penny, this guy0----
118Chapter 29: Let's take this outside0----
119Chapter 30: Asimov, look what you did to the poor girl0----
120Chapter 31: The kids are not alright0----
121Chapter 32: I come bearing gifts0----
122Chapter 33: Nice place, it'd be a shame if...0----
123Chapter 34: Going out of business sale! Everyone is free!0----
124Chapter 35: Publication0----
125Chapter 36: Don't ask0----
126Chapter 37: Not exactly a star gate0----
127Chapter 38: I question your music tastes0----
128Chapter 39: That's sidequest mentality0----
129Chapter 39B: I bet they didn't even take off their shoes0----
130Chapter 39C: Let's set some goals to improve your performance0----
131Chapter 40: Ugh, you again?0----
132Chapter 41: Do you know who I am?0----
133Chapter 42: My happy place isn't so happy0----
134Chapter 43: Hercules, eat your heart out0----
135Chapter 44: I'm gonna 100% Gaia Eta0----
136Chapter 45: Say ahhhhhh0----
137Chapter 46: This wasn't in the weather report0----
138Chapter 47: Let me get my weed whacker0----
139Chapter 48: That's a firm handshake0----
140Chapter 49: I can see my house from here0----
141Chapter 50: A spell of one's own0----
142Chapter 51: That's what I call a captive audience0----
143Chapter 52: No true wizard would be caught dead in this thing0----
144Chapter 53: A trade disruption can mean only one thing...0----
145Chapter 54: Cloudy with a chance of tungsten0----
146Chapter 55: Mmm, that's tasty0----
147Chapter 56: Lofi murder tunes to slay mutts to0----
148Chapter 57: The charge of the Wolf Brigade0----
149Chapter 58: There's always a bigger fish0----
150Chapter 59: I think that gave me a sunburn0----
151Chapter 60: Look and live0----
152Chapter 61: Buddy's last stand0----
153Chapter 62: False gods not admitted0----
154Chapter 63: Let them fight!0----
155Chapter 64: My, how the mighty have fallen0----
156Chapter 65: Pop goes the orc0----
157Chapter 66: I hope you don't mind I dropped by0----
158Chapter 67: One hell of a headache0----
159Chapter 68: Get up from that one0----
160Chapter 69: One down, a lot more to go0----
161Chapter 70: Epilogue - Take your time, there's no rush0----
162Chapter 71: Epilogue - We'll have takoyaki when this is all over0----
163Chapter 72: Epilogue - Should we get out and push?0----
164Chapter 73: Epilogue - Knock knock!0----