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This Machine Slays Dragons

This Machine Slays Dragons

by W. Jefferson Smith

LitRPGPortal Fantasy / IsekaiProgressionWar and MilitaryComedy
Shadow rank ~213–259 in Sci-fi

Dalex may have died, and his body may have been abducted by aliens, but that's not going to stop him from living his best isekai life. Resurrected and transported halfway across the galaxy to do the aliens' grunt work, Dalex finds himself in command of a starship with enough firepower to destroy a solar system. He’s accompanied by a snarky android assistant to help him learn what all the buttons do and has a mission to stop the aliens' competitors from stealing all the valuable local minerals. As a fantasy nerd, science fiction isn’t his genre. Lucky for him, the habitable planets nearby are covered in elves, beastmen, orcs, and dragons. Seven unique worlds overflow with magical power just waiting to fulfill his every wish. Unlucky for him, the dragons are fascist authoritarians bent on squeezing all the magic out of the elves and then exterminating them. And they use the native humans as their overseers. It totally ruins Dalex’s image of the noble dragon and is embarrassing to him as a fellow human. But, with the proper application of a post-singularity species’ most powerful weapons, all given new fantasy-appropriate names, Dalex can probably give that dark cloud a silver lining. It’s open season on all tyrannical wyrms. New chapters posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Cover art by Heitor Santos/ REDHOTIEH

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Story Timeline

Started

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OverviewEngagementProseChapters
Favorites
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FVR
1.72%
Rating
4.41
Ratings
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Reviews
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Comments
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RS Days
0
Total Chapters
146
Total Words
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Avg Length
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Analyzed
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Chapter Analysis
Word counts and prose metrics for each chapter
#TitleWordsFK GradeDialogueSSPVariation
1Book One - Chapter 1: UFO-kun is at it again 10 months ago0----
2Book One - Chapter 2: Let me show you to your cubicle 10 months ago0----
3Book One - Chapter 3: It explodes what now? 10 months ago0----
4Book Two - Chapter 1: The customer is always right! 5 months ago0----
5Book Two - Chapter 2: You shall not... eh, you know the rest 5 months ago
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6Book Two - Chapter 3: Here's to you, Sitoa 5 months ago0----
7Book Two - Chapter 4: Road trip! 5 months ago0----
8Book Two - Chapter 5: You're gonna get some hop ons 5 months ago0----
9Book Two - Chapter 6: Mom, can we keep him? 5 months ago0----
10Book Two - Chapter 7: What about a bath? 5 months ago0----
11Book Two - Chapter 8: Yes, we knew all along, sadly... 5 months ago0----
12Book Two - Chapter 9: It's me, your daughter. Take me to your leader. 5 months ago0----
13Book Two - Chapter 10: Is this an RPG or an RTS? 5 months ago0----
14Book Two - Chapter 11: Dragons don't count 5 months ago0----
15Book Two - Chapter 12: You had me at "dungeon" 5 months ago0----
16Book Two - Chapter 13: I think I checked it at the door 4 months ago0----
17Book Two - Chapter 14: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery 4 months ago0----
18Book Two - Chapter 15: I was crossing my fingers 4 months ago0----
19Book Two - Chapter 16: Does this count as charm? 4 months ago0----
20Book Two - Chapter 17: Win, lose, or draw, someone's getting wined and dined 4 months ago0----
21Book Two - Chapter 18: These boots were made for kicking 4 months ago0----
22Book Two - Chapter 19: Not buying it, eh? 4 months ago0----
23Book Two - Chapter 20: Oops 4 months ago0----
24Book Two - Chapter 21: For some reason I'm craving kebabs 4 months ago0----
25Book Two - Chapter 22: Training is overdue 4 months ago0----
26Book Two - Chapter 23: But that thing... 4 months ago0----
27Book Two - Chapter 24: Second time's the charm 4 months ago0----
28Book Two - Chapter 25: Dalex of the what? 4 months ago0----
29Book Two - Chapter 26: Crikey! 3 months ago0----
30Book Two - Chapter 27: Who put puzzles in my spectacle fighter? 3 months ago0----
31Book Two - Chapter 28: On the wings of demons 3 months ago0----
32Book Two - Chapter 29: If you want to surprise someone, lose the battle cry 3 months ago0----
33Book Two - Chapter 30: Cannon ball! 3 months ago0----
34Book Two - Chapter 31: Got 'im quaking in his boots 3 months ago0----
35Book Two - Chapter 32: The only good orc... 3 months ago0----
36Book Two - Chapter 33: Maybe he just needed some alone time 3 months ago0----
37Book Two - Chapter 34: You've convinced me 3 months ago0----
38Book Two - Chapter 35: His resell value is dropping like a rock 3 months ago0----
39Book Two - Chapter 36: Don't avert your eyes 2 months ago0----
40Book Two - Chapter 37: Maybe I'll mount him on my wall 2 months ago0----
41Book Two - Chapter 38: And introducing special guest... 2 months ago0----
42Book Two - Chapter 39: Story time! 2 months ago0----
43Book Two - Chapter 40: Don't pin this on me 2 months ago0----
44Book Two - Chapter 41: Will they be doing any riveting? 2 months ago0----
45Book Two - Chapter 42: An unspoken promise 2 months ago0----
46Book Two - Chapter 43: Road trip! 2 months ago0----
47Book Two - Chapter 44: That smile... that damned smile 2 months ago0----
48Book Two - Chapter 45: PETA's gonna be all over my ass 2 months ago0----
49Book Two - Chapter 46: Introductions are not in order 2 months ago0----
50Book Two - Chapter 47: The monster under her bed 1 month ago0----
51Book Two - Chapter 48: The student has surpassed the master 1 month ago0----
52Book Two - Chapter 49: Did you have to clone that part too? 1 month ago0----
53Book Two - Chapter 50: Alien venison or oversized crab legs? 1 month ago0----
54Book Two - Chapter 51: Look what the rat dragged in 1 month ago0----
55Book Two - Chapter 52: That was the warm, here comes the frosty 1 month ago0----
56Book Two - Chapter 53: Message received  1 month ago0----
57Book Two - Chapter 54: Diggy diggy bloody bloody 1 month ago0----
58Book 1 of "This Machine Slays Dragons" stubbing on/around July 24th 1 month ago0----
59Book Two - Chapter 55: Tribial cirpuit blamage 1 month ago0----
60Book Two - Chapter 56: Release from the kraken 1 month ago0----
61Book Two - Chapter 57: Girl knows what she wants (II) 30 days ago0----
62Book Two - Chapter 58: That breeze is bracing 28 days ago0----
63Book Two - Chapter 59: You know I can hear you, right? 23 days ago0----
64Book Two - Chapter 60: Bring 'em on 21 days ago0----
65Book Two - Chapter 61: Mother of the year 19 days ago0----
66Book Two - Chapter 62: Ouch 16 days ago0----
67Book Two - Chapter 63: Owen Little Part 1 14 days ago0----
68Book Two - Chapter 64: Owen Little Part 2 11 days ago0----
69Book Two - Chapter 65: A courageous plunge 9 days ago0----
70Book Two - Chapter 66: Can you even call it bathing? 7 days ago0----
71Book Two - Chapter 67: Let's split up, gang! 5 days ago0----
72Book Two - Chapter 68: She's been droppin' eaves 2 days ago0----
73Book Two - Chapter 69: The Gatekeeper 3 minutes ago0----
74Chapter 4: Way to bury the lede, Jeremy...0----
75Chapter 5: What caliber is the protein bar?0----
76Chapter 6: You don't know me but I'm a big fan0----
77Chapter 7: I ain't no lord0----
78Chapter 8: Quiet on set0----
79Chapter 9: I only pity the chameleon0----
80Chapter 10: State the nature of your medical emergency0----
81Chapter 11: The sign says no solicitors0----
82Chapter 12: Guy can't take a hint0----
83Chapter 13: Your dog got out again0----
84Chapter 14: She doesn't lack for ambition0----
85Chapter 15: Big dragon is watching0----
86Chapter 16: That's the worst news I've had all week0----
87Chapter 17: No good deed goes unrewarded0----
88Chapter 18: Will hunt mutts for food0----
89Chapter 18B: He left me in a black hole0----
90Chapter 19: There is no mutt invasion in Gaia Eta0----
91Chapter 20: Do I taste that good?0----
92Chapter 21: Get that paper0----
93Chapter 22: Danger close0----
94Chapter 23: I'm fighting for my life0----
95Chapter 24: Girl knows what she wants0----
96Chapter 25: Who let you in?0----
97Chapter 26: Tell me0----
98Chapter 27: Pleased to meet you, now go away0----
99Chapter 28: Like a bad penny, this guy0----
100Chapter 29: Let's take this outside0----
101Chapter 30: Asimov, look what you did to the poor girl0----
102Chapter 31: The kids are not alright0----
103Chapter 32: I come bearing gifts0----
104Chapter 33: Nice place, it'd be a shame if...0----
105Chapter 34: Going out of business sale! Everyone is free!0----
106Chapter 35: Publication0----
107Chapter 36: Don't ask0----
108Chapter 37: Not exactly a star gate0----
109Chapter 38: I question your music tastes0----
110Chapter 39: That's sidequest mentality0----
111Chapter 39B: I bet they didn't even take off their shoes0----
112Chapter 39C: Let's set some goals to improve your performance0----
113Chapter 40: Ugh, you again?0----
114Chapter 41: Do you know who I am?0----
115Chapter 42: My happy place isn't so happy0----
116Chapter 43: Hercules, eat your heart out0----
117Chapter 44: I'm gonna 100% Gaia Eta0----
118Chapter 45: Say ahhhhhh0----
119Chapter 46: This wasn't in the weather report0----
120Chapter 47: Let me get my weed whacker0----
121Chapter 48: That's a firm handshake0----
122Chapter 49: I can see my house from here0----
123Chapter 50: A spell of one's own0----
124Chapter 51: That's what I call a captive audience0----
125Chapter 52: No true wizard would be caught dead in this thing0----
126Chapter 53: A trade disruption can mean only one thing...0----
127Chapter 54: Cloudy with a chance of tungsten0----
128Chapter 55: Mmm, that's tasty0----
129Chapter 56: Lofi murder tunes to slay mutts to0----
130Chapter 57: The charge of the Wolf Brigade0----
131Chapter 58: There's always a bigger fish0----
132Chapter 59: I think that gave me a sunburn0----
133Chapter 60: Look and live0----
134Chapter 61: Buddy's last stand0----
135Chapter 62: False gods not admitted0----
136Chapter 63: Let them fight!0----
137Chapter 64: My, how the mighty have fallen0----
138Chapter 65: Pop goes the orc0----
139Chapter 66: I hope you don't mind I dropped by0----
140Chapter 67: One hell of a headache0----
141Chapter 68: Get up from that one0----
142Chapter 69: One down, a lot more to go0----
143Chapter 70: Epilogue - Take your time, there's no rush0----
144Chapter 71: Epilogue - We'll have takoyaki when this is all over0----
145Chapter 72: Epilogue - Should we get out and push?0----
146Chapter 73: Epilogue - Knock knock!0----