
by W. Jefferson Smith
Dalex may have died, and his body may have been abducted by aliens, but that's not going to stop him from living his best isekai life. Resurrected and transported halfway across the galaxy to do the aliens' grunt work, Dalex finds himself in command of a starship with enough firepower to destroy a solar system. He’s accompanied by a snarky android assistant to help him learn what all the buttons do and has a mission to stop the aliens' competitors from stealing all the valuable local minerals. As a fantasy nerd, science fiction isn’t his genre. Lucky for him, the habitable planets nearby are covered in elves, beastmen, orcs, and dragons. Seven unique worlds overflow with magical power just waiting to fulfill his every wish. Unlucky for him, the dragons are fascist authoritarians bent on squeezing all the magic out of the elves and then exterminating them. And they use the native humans as their overseers. It totally ruins Dalex’s image of the noble dragon and is embarrassing to him as a fellow human. But, with the proper application of a post-singularity species’ most powerful weapons, all given new fantasy-appropriate names, Dalex can probably give that dark cloud a silver lining. It’s open season on all tyrannical wyrms. New chapters posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Cover art by Heitor Santos/ REDHOTIEH
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Book One - Chapter 1: UFO-kun is at it again 10 months ago | 0 |
| 2 | Book One - Chapter 2: Let me show you to your cubicle 10 months ago | 0 |
| 3 | Book One - Chapter 3: It explodes what now? 10 months ago | 0 |
| 4 | Book Two - Chapter 1: The customer is always right! 5 months ago | 0 |
| 5 | Book Two - Chapter 2: You shall not... eh, you know the rest 5 months ago |
| 0 |
| 6 | Book Two - Chapter 3: Here's to you, Sitoa 5 months ago | 0 |
| 7 | Book Two - Chapter 4: Road trip! 5 months ago | 0 |
| 8 | Book Two - Chapter 5: You're gonna get some hop ons 5 months ago | 0 |
| 9 | Book Two - Chapter 6: Mom, can we keep him? 5 months ago | 0 |
| 10 | Book Two - Chapter 7: What about a bath? 5 months ago | 0 |
| 11 | Book Two - Chapter 8: Yes, we knew all along, sadly... 5 months ago | 0 |
| 12 | Book Two - Chapter 9: It's me, your daughter. Take me to your leader. 5 months ago | 0 |
| 13 | Book Two - Chapter 10: Is this an RPG or an RTS? 5 months ago | 0 |
| 14 | Book Two - Chapter 11: Dragons don't count 5 months ago | 0 |
| 15 | Book Two - Chapter 12: You had me at "dungeon" 5 months ago | 0 |
| 16 | Book Two - Chapter 13: I think I checked it at the door 4 months ago | 0 |
| 17 | Book Two - Chapter 14: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery 4 months ago | 0 |
| 18 | Book Two - Chapter 15: I was crossing my fingers 4 months ago | 0 |
| 19 | Book Two - Chapter 16: Does this count as charm? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 20 | Book Two - Chapter 17: Win, lose, or draw, someone's getting wined and dined 4 months ago | 0 |
| 21 | Book Two - Chapter 18: These boots were made for kicking 4 months ago | 0 |
| 22 | Book Two - Chapter 19: Not buying it, eh? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 23 | Book Two - Chapter 20: Oops 4 months ago | 0 |
| 24 | Book Two - Chapter 21: For some reason I'm craving kebabs 4 months ago | 0 |
| 25 | Book Two - Chapter 22: Training is overdue 4 months ago | 0 |
| 26 | Book Two - Chapter 23: But that thing... 4 months ago | 0 |
| 27 | Book Two - Chapter 24: Second time's the charm 4 months ago | 0 |
| 28 | Book Two - Chapter 25: Dalex of the what? 4 months ago | 0 |
| 29 | Book Two - Chapter 26: Crikey! 3 months ago | 0 |
| 30 | Book Two - Chapter 27: Who put puzzles in my spectacle fighter? 3 months ago | 0 |
| 31 | Book Two - Chapter 28: On the wings of demons 3 months ago | 0 |
| 32 | Book Two - Chapter 29: If you want to surprise someone, lose the battle cry 3 months ago | 0 |
| 33 | Book Two - Chapter 30: Cannon ball! 3 months ago | 0 |
| 34 | Book Two - Chapter 31: Got 'im quaking in his boots 3 months ago | 0 |
| 35 | Book Two - Chapter 32: The only good orc... 3 months ago | 0 |
| 36 | Book Two - Chapter 33: Maybe he just needed some alone time 3 months ago | 0 |
| 37 | Book Two - Chapter 34: You've convinced me 3 months ago | 0 |
| 38 | Book Two - Chapter 35: His resell value is dropping like a rock 3 months ago | 0 |
| 39 | Book Two - Chapter 36: Don't avert your eyes 2 months ago | 0 |
| 40 | Book Two - Chapter 37: Maybe I'll mount him on my wall 2 months ago | 0 |
| 41 | Book Two - Chapter 38: And introducing special guest... 2 months ago | 0 |
| 42 | Book Two - Chapter 39: Story time! 2 months ago | 0 |
| 43 | Book Two - Chapter 40: Don't pin this on me 2 months ago | 0 |
| 44 | Book Two - Chapter 41: Will they be doing any riveting? 2 months ago | 0 |
| 45 | Book Two - Chapter 42: An unspoken promise 2 months ago | 0 |
| 46 | Book Two - Chapter 43: Road trip! 2 months ago | 0 |
| 47 | Book Two - Chapter 44: That smile... that damned smile 2 months ago | 0 |
| 48 | Book Two - Chapter 45: PETA's gonna be all over my ass 2 months ago | 0 |
| 49 | Book Two - Chapter 46: Introductions are not in order 2 months ago | 0 |
| 50 | Book Two - Chapter 47: The monster under her bed 1 month ago | 0 |
| 51 | Book Two - Chapter 48: The student has surpassed the master 1 month ago | 0 |
| 52 | Book Two - Chapter 49: Did you have to clone that part too? 1 month ago | 0 |
| 53 | Book Two - Chapter 50: Alien venison or oversized crab legs? 1 month ago | 0 |
| 54 | Book Two - Chapter 51: Look what the rat dragged in 1 month ago | 0 |
| 55 | Book Two - Chapter 52: That was the warm, here comes the frosty 1 month ago | 0 |
| 56 | Book Two - Chapter 53: Message received 1 month ago | 0 |
| 57 | Book Two - Chapter 54: Diggy diggy bloody bloody 1 month ago | 0 |
| 58 | Book 1 of "This Machine Slays Dragons" stubbing on/around July 24th 1 month ago | 0 |
| 59 | Book Two - Chapter 55: Tribial cirpuit blamage 1 month ago | 0 |
| 60 | Book Two - Chapter 56: Release from the kraken 1 month ago | 0 |
| 61 | Book Two - Chapter 57: Girl knows what she wants (II) 30 days ago | 0 |
| 62 | Book Two - Chapter 58: That breeze is bracing 28 days ago | 0 |
| 63 | Book Two - Chapter 59: You know I can hear you, right? 23 days ago | 0 |
| 64 | Book Two - Chapter 60: Bring 'em on 21 days ago | 0 |
| 65 | Book Two - Chapter 61: Mother of the year 19 days ago | 0 |
| 66 | Book Two - Chapter 62: Ouch 16 days ago | 0 |
| 67 | Book Two - Chapter 63: Owen Little Part 1 14 days ago | 0 |
| 68 | Book Two - Chapter 64: Owen Little Part 2 11 days ago | 0 |
| 69 | Book Two - Chapter 65: A courageous plunge 9 days ago | 0 |
| 70 | Book Two - Chapter 66: Can you even call it bathing? 7 days ago | 0 |
| 71 | Book Two - Chapter 67: Let's split up, gang! 5 days ago | 0 |
| 72 | Book Two - Chapter 68: She's been droppin' eaves 2 days ago | 0 |
| 73 | Book Two - Chapter 69: The Gatekeeper 3 minutes ago | 0 |
| 74 | Chapter 4: Way to bury the lede, Jeremy... | 0 |
| 75 | Chapter 5: What caliber is the protein bar? | 0 |
| 76 | Chapter 6: You don't know me but I'm a big fan | 0 |
| 77 | Chapter 7: I ain't no lord | 0 |
| 78 | Chapter 8: Quiet on set | 0 |
| 79 | Chapter 9: I only pity the chameleon | 0 |
| 80 | Chapter 10: State the nature of your medical emergency | 0 |
| 81 | Chapter 11: The sign says no solicitors | 0 |
| 82 | Chapter 12: Guy can't take a hint | 0 |
| 83 | Chapter 13: Your dog got out again | 0 |
| 84 | Chapter 14: She doesn't lack for ambition | 0 |
| 85 | Chapter 15: Big dragon is watching | 0 |
| 86 | Chapter 16: That's the worst news I've had all week | 0 |
| 87 | Chapter 17: No good deed goes unrewarded | 0 |
| 88 | Chapter 18: Will hunt mutts for food | 0 |
| 89 | Chapter 18B: He left me in a black hole | 0 |
| 90 | Chapter 19: There is no mutt invasion in Gaia Eta | 0 |
| 91 | Chapter 20: Do I taste that good? | 0 |
| 92 | Chapter 21: Get that paper | 0 |
| 93 | Chapter 22: Danger close | 0 |
| 94 | Chapter 23: I'm fighting for my life | 0 |
| 95 | Chapter 24: Girl knows what she wants | 0 |
| 96 | Chapter 25: Who let you in? | 0 |
| 97 | Chapter 26: Tell me | 0 |
| 98 | Chapter 27: Pleased to meet you, now go away | 0 |
| 99 | Chapter 28: Like a bad penny, this guy | 0 |
| 100 | Chapter 29: Let's take this outside | 0 |
| 101 | Chapter 30: Asimov, look what you did to the poor girl | 0 |
| 102 | Chapter 31: The kids are not alright | 0 |
| 103 | Chapter 32: I come bearing gifts | 0 |
| 104 | Chapter 33: Nice place, it'd be a shame if... | 0 |
| 105 | Chapter 34: Going out of business sale! Everyone is free! | 0 |
| 106 | Chapter 35: Publication | 0 |
| 107 | Chapter 36: Don't ask | 0 |
| 108 | Chapter 37: Not exactly a star gate | 0 |
| 109 | Chapter 38: I question your music tastes | 0 |
| 110 | Chapter 39: That's sidequest mentality | 0 |
| 111 | Chapter 39B: I bet they didn't even take off their shoes | 0 |
| 112 | Chapter 39C: Let's set some goals to improve your performance | 0 |
| 113 | Chapter 40: Ugh, you again? | 0 |
| 114 | Chapter 41: Do you know who I am? | 0 |
| 115 | Chapter 42: My happy place isn't so happy | 0 |
| 116 | Chapter 43: Hercules, eat your heart out | 0 |
| 117 | Chapter 44: I'm gonna 100% Gaia Eta | 0 |
| 118 | Chapter 45: Say ahhhhhh | 0 |
| 119 | Chapter 46: This wasn't in the weather report | 0 |
| 120 | Chapter 47: Let me get my weed whacker | 0 |
| 121 | Chapter 48: That's a firm handshake | 0 |
| 122 | Chapter 49: I can see my house from here | 0 |
| 123 | Chapter 50: A spell of one's own | 0 |
| 124 | Chapter 51: That's what I call a captive audience | 0 |
| 125 | Chapter 52: No true wizard would be caught dead in this thing | 0 |
| 126 | Chapter 53: A trade disruption can mean only one thing... | 0 |
| 127 | Chapter 54: Cloudy with a chance of tungsten | 0 |
| 128 | Chapter 55: Mmm, that's tasty | 0 |
| 129 | Chapter 56: Lofi murder tunes to slay mutts to | 0 |
| 130 | Chapter 57: The charge of the Wolf Brigade | 0 |
| 131 | Chapter 58: There's always a bigger fish | 0 |
| 132 | Chapter 59: I think that gave me a sunburn | 0 |
| 133 | Chapter 60: Look and live | 0 |
| 134 | Chapter 61: Buddy's last stand | 0 |
| 135 | Chapter 62: False gods not admitted | 0 |
| 136 | Chapter 63: Let them fight! | 0 |
| 137 | Chapter 64: My, how the mighty have fallen | 0 |
| 138 | Chapter 65: Pop goes the orc | 0 |
| 139 | Chapter 66: I hope you don't mind I dropped by | 0 |
| 140 | Chapter 67: One hell of a headache | 0 |
| 141 | Chapter 68: Get up from that one | 0 |
| 142 | Chapter 69: One down, a lot more to go | 0 |
| 143 | Chapter 70: Epilogue - Take your time, there's no rush | 0 |
| 144 | Chapter 71: Epilogue - We'll have takoyaki when this is all over | 0 |
| 145 | Chapter 72: Epilogue - Should we get out and push? | 0 |
| 146 | Chapter 73: Epilogue - Knock knock! | 0 |