![I Am A Table [LitRPG Isekai Progression Fantasy]](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.royalroadcdn.com%2Fpublic%2Fcovers-large%2Freincarnated-in-a-medieval-realm-as-a-table-a.jpg%3Ftime%3D1740037733&w=640&q=75)
by D.N. Newyn
When an ordinary man awakens in The Uninspiringly Named Medieval Realm, he expects the usual isekai treatment—powerful abilities, legendary weapons, maybe even a hero’s destiny. Instead, he finds himself in the most prestigious role imaginable. A wooden table. Featherwood, to be exact, which allows him to become super fast. If he can walk. Blessed with a miserable stat spread (except for an absurdly high Agility score) and a RPG system that’s set on screwing him over, he is transported to the Township of Iakesi. With no mouth to speak, no arms to wield a sword, and no skills to aid his survival, his future looks bleak. But when his Status Window appears, he realizes something: He can level up. WHAT TO EXPECT in I am a Table: 1. A Sentient Table as MC 2. A Completely Useless Yet Overpowered Skill Set 3. The Most Unhinged System Ever 4. An ABSURD Sense of Humor (You've been warned) 5. Extremely Bizarre Character Classes 6. VERY Mild Fade-to-Black Content, Mainly for Comedic Purposes 7. The magic system is based on The Six Pillars of Reality instead of simply affinity. It will be explained further in the World-Building Notes. Release Schedule: Four times a week
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Chapter 1: He is now a table | 0 |
| 2 | Chapter 2: Do not scratch me you felonious feline! | 0 |
| 3 | Chapter 3: I love buttocks against my face | 0 |
| 4 | Chapter 4: It has 160 Max HP? And I have 6?! | 0 |
| 5 | Chapter 5: Did I tell you I got a pet termite? His name is Clint. Clint Eatswood | 0 |
| 6 | Chapter 6: I propose a Table Duel, or I shall take your wife | 0 |
| 7 | Chapter 7: NEW SIDEQUEST: Observe the Chicken | 0 |
| 8 | Chapter 8: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! | 0 |
| 9 | Chapter 9: Rub your butt on me. Just one rub, I promise! | 0 |
| 10 | World-building Notes | 0 |
| 11 | Chapter 10: NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: Sell Cabbages! | 0 |
| 12 | Chapter 11: That’s not a chicken, that’s my wife! | 0 |
| 13 | Chapter 12: Oh cabbage, my cabbage, you’re stable like a table | 0 |
| 14 | Chapter 13: There is nothing shameful about having a small wand inside you | 0 |
| 15 | Chapter 14: I pray you have ‘1 Unread Notification’ on your screen forever! | 0 |
| 16 | Chapter 15: Blasting orcs away was not as important as solving world hunger | 0 |
| 17 | I have succumbed to sickness! | 0 |
| 18 | Chapter 16: You have an innate talent for making people sit down at the exact same time | 0 |
| 19 | Chapter 17: A piñata, the most powerful being in all the lands | 0 |
| 20 | Chapter 18: Keep yelling at me and kick me in the butt! | 0 |
| 21 | Chapter 19: The morally sound path always pays absolute garbage | 0 |
| 22 | Chapter 20: That sounds so sad. Anyway, when are you gonna teach us some spells? | 0 |
| 23 | Chapter 21: It’s ridiculous how kale is considered a luxury, while cabbage is not | 0 |
| 24 | Chapter 22: You might lose a mortgage contract under a head of cabbage | 0 |
| 25 | Chapter 23: The foundational essence of xianxia cultivation is not pronounced ‘kiwi’! | 0 |
| 26 | Chapter 24: BLOSSOMING BUTTOCK | 0 |
| 27 | Chapter 25: The Art of Table Dueling | 0 |
| 28 | Chapter 26: Tables don’t have butts | 0 |
| 29 | Chapter 27: Shut up, you dangling donkey | 0 |
| 30 | Chapter 28: I’m the one who needs attention here; preferably medical attention | 0 |
| 31 | Chapter 29: Why are mages fighting with blades? | 0 |
| 32 | Chapter 30: You’ve been manhandled by a woman | 0 |
| 33 | Chapter 31: The Celestial Feather of Skycluck | 0 |
| 34 | Chapter 32: To truly master financial magic, you must learn the next step: Balance Sheets! | 0 |
| 35 | Chapter 33: What’s a little attempted murder amongst friends? | 0 |
| 36 | Chapter 34: You licorice-brained lizard! YOU OVERSIZED GUMMY WORM! | 0 |
| 37 | Chapter 35: No more buying random pebbles or trinkets without setting up a trust fund | 0 |
| 38 | Chapter 36: New Status Effect Applied: Furniture | 0 |
| 39 | Chapter 37: The only purpose of NPCs is to give you quests then drop off the face of the Earth | 0 |
| 40 | Before you Read! (Somewhat) Important! | 0 |
| 41 | Chapter 38: Does this horse have lung fever? | 0 |
| 42 | Chapter 39: What does the temple even do with donations?! Buy fancier sun embroidery? | 0 |
| 43 | Chapter 40: I just shot the arrow, not my fault it hit someone! | 0 |
| 44 | Chapter 4.5: I wish I can be as strong as an orc without looking like one | 0 |
| 45 | Chapter 41: He should be running ten laps around the temple as we speak! | 0 |
| 46 | Chapter 42: Why does this specific chant sound so Roman? | 0 |
| 47 | Chapter 43: By the way, Robert, how does one get off a horse? | 0 |
| 48 | Chapter 44: I will only steal from the elderly and children from now on | 0 |
| 49 | Chapter 45: You’re OLD! | 0 |
| 50 | Chapter 46: The Archmage of Chickenthorpe | 0 |
| 51 | Chapter 47: That guy’s gonna hit us with the power of dirty dishes | 0 |
| 52 | Chapter 48: If this magic system is real, why was I reincarnated as a damn TABLE? | 0 |
| 53 | Chapter 49: What did you just call me? | 0 |
| 54 | Chapter 50: Why don’t you just sit on my face for once! | 0 |
| 55 | Chapter 51: Captain Stevie Jobs Motorola of Nokia | 0 |
| 56 | Chapter 52: It’s a basic technique, he said as he beheaded the God of all Kings | 0 |
| 57 | Chapter 53: Harry Porker and the Half-Blood Sausage | 0 |
| 58 | Chapter 54: Why did you decide to be ethical NOW? | 0 |
| 59 | Chapter 55: 15000 EXP?! The last level required 100! | 0 |
| 60 | I Am Not A Table | 0 |
| 61 | Chapter 56: Was this some kind of twisted metaphor about capitalism? | 0 |
| 62 | Chapter 57: If he’s a human, Lena must be an elephant! | 0 |
| 63 | Chapter 58: He’s a furniture. They don’t do much, you know | 0 |
| 64 | Chapter 59: Servants don’t do anything, Lena! They just work | 0 |
| 65 | Chapter 60: Gimme my GAINS! | 0 |
| 66 | Chapter 61: Who puts a poisonous metal plant in the front garden FOR GUESTS TO SEE? | 0 |
| 67 | Chapter 62: Hooray! She’s still breathing! But still poisoned. | 0 |
| 68 | Chapter 63: Look at you, being so unimportant. Nobody cares about you! | 0 |
| 69 | Chapter 64: Does time freeze when you monologue or something? | 0 |
| 70 | Chapter 65: Let us begin before anyone else tries to employ reason | 0 |
| 71 | Chapter 66: Obey the laws of physics only when necessary | 0 |
| 72 | Chapter 67: CELESTIAL INFINITY ARC SPOON REQUIEM! | 0 |
| 73 | Chapter 68: This is supposed to be a Stealth mission… | 0 |
| 74 | Chapter 69: If things are going to the gutters, punch them in the groin | 0 |
| 75 | Chapter 70: The cosmic power of animating furniture | 0 |
| 76 | Chapter 71: Hi, Rob’s wife! | 0 |
| 77 | Chapter 72: Stupid technical wording! | 0 |
| 78 | Chapter 73: It’s grease-based enhancement architecture! | 0 |
| 79 | Chapter 74: I am already eighteen, just so you know! | 0 |
| 80 | Chapter 75: But not that I like men! It’s just my objective observation. | 0 |
| 81 | Chapter 76: Remind me again why we brought a table along? | 0 |
| 82 | Short announcement | 0 |
| 83 | Chapter 77: ANTI-WIND-BASED DISTURBANCE FIELD ACTIVE (Patent Pending) | 0 |
| 84 | Chapter 78: “I’m fine, I’m not mad, you do what you want, really, I’m fine” | 0 |
| 85 | Chapter 79: There has to be a better name than lightBOB | 0 |
| 86 | Chapter 80: That was supposed to hiss, not detonate! | 0 |
| 87 | Chapter 81: The structural integrity of the bench seems marginally superior | 0 |
| 88 | Chapter 82: ROMANCE?! IN MY FANTASY WEBFICTION?! | 0 |
| 89 | Chapter 83: Another day, another person in this universe jumping to conclusions | 0 |
| 90 | Chapter 84: Men who eat carrots get really attractive eyes (Facts) | 0 |
| 91 | Chapter 85: What color is Ducaz’s pinky toe? | 0 |
| 92 | Chapter 86: But she was just… inspecting me so thoroughly! | 0 |
| 93 | Chapter 87: Singjun Uwu, the master woodworker from the famous Sofa Levelling | 0 |
| 94 | Chapter 88: Fiddlesticks and cabbage leaves! | 0 |
| 95 | Chapter 89: The Secret Artifact Stealing from Respectable Magi project | 0 |
| 96 | Chapter 90: My Foreign Markings On A Furniture Surface Detector! | 0 |
| 97 | Chapter 91: I’ll be a donkey right now! Hee-haw! | 0 |
| 98 | Chapter 92: If worse comes to worst, I can just buy another table! | 0 |
| 99 | Chapter 93: (((23+7)−3)×2−sqr(16))÷(5×4) | 0 |
| 100 | Chapter 94: This is not dark magic! It's unlighted magic | 0 |
| 101 | Chapter 95: Trees are monkey food, not a skill holder! | 0 |
| 102 | Chapter 96: It’s almost like the author just thought of this nonsense on the spot | 0 |
| 103 | Chapter 97: If this was a book series, this would be the end of Book 1 | 0 |
| 104 | Chapter 98: She wore a pair of metallic gauntlets labelled ‘Donkey Self-Riding Gauntlets’ | 0 |
| 105 | Chapter 99: Lena exclaimed, having contributed nothing to the battle | 0 |
| 106 | Chapter 100: He didn’t just eat that gum. He consumed its magical potential | 0 |
| 107 | Chapter 101: I didn’t travel to ANOTHER realm just to be disturbed by some fools! | 0 |
| 108 | Chapter 102: Just because you had to inject common sense into the situation! | 0 |
| 109 | Chapter 103: WE’RE INVADING THE GUMMY BEARS | 0 |
| 110 | Chapter 104: Why is he impossibly overpowered for no reason? | 0 |
| 111 | Chapter 105: How much more likely is marginally more likely? | 0 |
| 112 | Chapter 97.5: I’ll have to stay alive from an asteroid assault while being carried by LENA? | 0 |
| 113 | Chapter 106: The chicken performed a dizzying series of aerial somersaults and mid-air spins | 0 |
| 114 | Chapter 107: Surely you have room to carry a table along? | 0 |
| 115 | Chapter 108: Everyone else can die. Where are my knives? | 0 |
| 116 | Chapter 109: I did NOT court the King’s advisor’s advisor’s dog whisperer’s uncle’s daughter | 0 |
| 117 | Chapter 110: HE’S A GOOD BOY | 0 |
| 118 | Chapter 111: THAT IS NOT NUTTINGHAM. THAT IS A HOUSECAT WITH ISSUES | 0 |
| 119 | Chapter 112: Even the door gives quests now? | 0 |
| 120 | I’ve written the best writing of my life and I need y’all help | 0 |
| 121 | Chapter 113: If we forget about it, it’s probably not important | 0 |
| 122 | Chapter 114: Consume a Sentient Quill | 0 |
| 123 | Chapter 115: Cope, seethe, mald | 0 |
| 124 | Chapter 116: Initiating Endurance Training. Potential reward: 30 END | 0 |
| 125 | Chapter 117: A god with no altar, which I am. | 0 |
| 126 | Chapter 118: Your chest is untouched? Let me fix that | 0 |
| 127 | Chapter 119: I can sell you for so much money! | 0 |
| 128 | Chapter 120: Acronymal in origin, though none remember for what | 0 |
| 129 | Chapter 121: Ride it like you ride me | 0 |
| 130 | Chapter 122: I survived. But at what cost? | 0 |
| 131 | Chapter 123: This is amazing. I am amazing. | 0 |
| 132 | Chapter 124: Must’ve been a month already. | 0 |
| 133 | Tabling this for now | 0 |
| 134 | New Book | 0 |