by Illiriel
When the day of the apocalypse comes, Ashtoreth betrays Hell to fight for humanity. After all, she never fit in with the other archfiends. She was always too optimistic, too energetic, too... nice. She was supposed to study humanity to help her learn to destroy it. Instead, she fell in love with it. She knows that Earth is where she really belongs. But as she tears her way through the tutorial, recruiting allies to her cause, she quickly realizes something strange: the humans don’t trust her. Sure, her main ability is [Consume Heart]. But that doesn’t make her evil—it just means that every enemy drops an extra health potion! Yes, her [Vampiric Archfiend] race and [Bloodfire Annihilator] class sound a little intimidating, but surely even the purehearted can agree that some things should be purged by fire! And [Demonic Summoning] can’t be all that evil if the ancient demonic entity that you summon takes the form of a cute, sassy cat! It may take her a little work, but Ashtoreth is optimistic: eventually, the humans will see that she’s here to help. After all, she has an important secret to tell them: Hell is afraid of humanity.
| # | Title | Words |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1: At First, I Expect the Apocalypse to be Widely Unpopular | — |
| 2 | 2: The Silver Lining Here is that I Get to Ride in a Police Car! | — |
| 3 | 3: Ultimate Life Hack: Shooting Yourself in the Head | — |
| 4 | 4: Out of the Frying Pan and into the... Hey! This is Just the Frying Pan Again! | — |
| 5 | 5: If Experience Has Taught Me Anything, It's How to Kill Anything With My Bare Hands | — |
| 6 | 6: Demon Hearts: The Other Red Meat | — |
| 7 | 7: [Consume Heart] Means Every Enemy Drops a Health Potion | — |
| 8 | 8: The Real Progression is the Friends we Summon into Bound Servitude Along the Way! | — |
| 9 | 9: A Relationship Has to Start Somewhere... and This One Starts With My Familiar Thinking I'm a Joke | — |
| 10 | 10: It's Too Bad That the Demons Don't Understand Why the Archfiends Should be in Charge | — |
| 11 | 11: Castles in the Sky | — |
| 12 | 12: When it Comes to Telekinetically Controlled Plus-Size Greatswords... Size Matters | — |
| 13 | 13: The Bigger They Are... the More [Strength] I Gain by Eating Their Heart After I Kill Them! | — |
| 14 | 14: I Choose to Regard [Bloodfire Annihilator] and "Hero of Humanity" as Synonymous, Thank You! | — |
| 15 | 15: If the Thought Counts for Anything, I'd Say Shooting You in the Head Was Quite Generous | — |
| 16 | 16: Perhaps its Weakness is Being Stabbed in its Vital Organs and Completely Engulfed in Hellfire! | — |
| 17 | 17: The Noble Art of Weaboo Fightan Magick | — |
| 18 | 18: Some Fiends Just Want to Watch the World Burn, Unsurprisingly | — |
| 19 | 19: The Greatest Thing About Destroying my Enemies is All This Free Stuff I Get | — |
| 20 | 20: My Favorite Kind of Jewelry is the Kind That Holds the Still-Warm Hearts of my Enemies | — |
| 21 | 21: Yes, I Know that Eating Your Children is a Bad Thing. HOWEVER.... | — |
| 22 | 22: You Say 'Shearbat', I Say 'Charred Heap of Still-Burning Flesh With a Delicious Heart Inside' | — |
| 23 | 23: My Dad Could Beat Up Your Dad! | — |
| 24 | 24: For There Are Those Who Fight With the Darker Side of the Weaboo Fightan Magick, the Chuuni.... | — |
| 25 | 25: Sadly, Being a Fan of RA Salvatore Doesn't Make You a Master of Dual Wielding | — |
| 26 | 26: Oddly Enough, our [Twinfang Assassin of the Shadowflame Dragon] Might Be Too Much of a Lone Wolf | — |
| 27 | 27: Team Work Makes the Dream Work, as Long as the Dream is That I Kill 80%+ of Enemies By Myself | — |
| 28 | 28: Contrary to Popular Belief, You Should Definitely Stand in Fire | — |
| 29 | 29: Stay Awhile and Listen—as I Explain Why Hell is So Gosh-Darned Overpowered | — |
| 30 | 30: [Hellfire Consumption] Just Means Every Monster is an Explosive Barrel Deep Down | — |
| 31 | 31: Stay Awhile and Listen—as I Explain Why I’M so Gosh-Darned Overpowered | — |
| 32 | 32: The Enemy of My Enemy is… a Bunch of Zombified Enemies, Apparently | — |
| 33 | 33: Sometimes it’s Hard to Spot a Boss’s Weakness Past All the Giant Glowing Red Points | — |
| 34 | 34: My Only Weakness is Every Single One of my Enemy’s Multiple Massive Weapons, Apparently | — |
| 35 | 35: You Know What they Say! If it Ain’t Broke: New Plan! | — |
| 36 | 36: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Yoink, Free Stuff! And the Numbers Go: BRRR! | — |
| 37 | 37: Everyone Remembers Their First Love. Mine Was Bolt Action and Fired 28mm Armor Piercing Rounds | — |
| 38 | 38: I Cast: Gun! GUN GUN GUN! | — |
| 39 | 39: Do We Have Time for Some Cannibalism? I Think We Have Time for Team Bonding Through Cannibalism | — |
| 40 | 40: If this Necromancer has a Weakness, I Bet it’s Compliments and Good Cheer! | — |
| 41 | 41: It’s All About Maintaining the Proper Grindset | — |
| 42 | 42: In Which a Certain Special Kitty is Getting a Big, Huge HUG! | — |
| 43 | 43: No Need to Panic: We Just Have to Kill them All | — |
| 44 | 44: Now You’re Cooking With Corpses | — |
| 45 | 45: Base Assault Missions Always Feel So Good | — |
| 46 | 46: It's Only Normal that We Talk About the Boss Behind Her Back | — |
| 47 | 47: Archfiend Versus Archdevil | — |
| 48 | 48: [Devoured Flesh] for Everybody! | — |
| 49 | 49: Hundreds of Giant, Carnivorous Insects? Count Me IN! | — |
| 50 | 50: ‘Raging Inferno’ is my Favored Terrain Type | — |
| 51 | 51: If We’re Going to Kill a Dragon, Then I Guess I’ve Got to Change Into the Right Outfit | — |
| 52 | 52: For Some Reason, People Are More Honest When They Think They’re Going to Die | — |
| 53 | 53: Who Better than an Archfiend to Make These Decisions for Both Humans and Humanity | — |
| 54 | 54: The Greatest Magic Trick the Archfiend Ever Played | — |
| 55 | 55: Cat Got Your Future | — |
| 56 | 56: Infernal Literacy Skills Can Get You Real Far in Life | — |
| 57 | 57: Nothing Hurts Quite Like the Truth, Even if Sacred Damage Comes Pretty Close | — |
| 58 | 58: When it Comes to the Fullest Extent of Your Powers, Size Matters | — |
| 59 | 59: [Energy Drain] Gives Whole New Meaning to the Words “Bad Touch” | — |
| 60 | 60: With Friends Like These, I’m Burning in Agony | — |
| 61 | 61: The REAL Loot is the Gigantic Dragon Corpse! But Also the Boss Chest. | — |
| 62 | 62: With Enemies Like These, I Have Infinite Resources | — |
| 63 | 63: A Screaming Sibling Deathmatch of Ice and Fire | — |
| 64 | 64: Ashtoreth’s Inferno | — |
| 65 | 65: The Grand Finale | — |
| 66 | 66: The Silver Lining Here is that I Get to BE A Police Car! | — |
| 67 | 67: Think of Yourselves Less as 'Prisoners' and More as 'Helpless Coattail Passengers' | — |
| 68 | 68: That [Vampiric Archfiend]’s Got Class | — |
| 69 | 69: It Turns Out Soloing Seven Bosses Earns You a Big Reward | — |
| 70 | 70: Think of it as a Free Training Arc Whose Only Cost Will be to Our Mental Wellbeing! | — |
| 71 | 71: The Abyssal Rift was… Not Our First Choice, Unsurprisingly | — |
| 72 | 72: Gaze Long Enough Into the Abyss… and Maybe You’ll Find a Boss to Kill for Loot and XP | — |
| 73 | 73: With Friends Like These, I’m Completely Alone | — |
| 74 | 74: Like a Montage, but Time Passes Normally and with no Music. Okay it’s Training. We’re Training. | — |
| 75 | 75: Nothing Builds Teams Like… Shame, Apparently | — |
| 76 | 76: Powering Up to Kill Some Dinosaurs With the Team | — |
| 77 | 77: Of Gustatory Pleasures and Murdered Worlds | — |
| 78 | 78: It’s Not Everyday You’re Murdered by A Jack O’Lantern and the Tin Man | — |
| 79 | 79: The Real Magic is Friendship! | — |
| 80 | 80: At Long Last, the Peanut Butter is Mine | — |
| 81 | 81: Keeping Humanity Safe Through Machine-Gun Assassinations | — |
| 82 | 82: The Best Magic Items are the ones that Grant Even Bigger Explosions | — |
| 83 | 83: The Apocalypse is a Go | — |
| 84 | 84: Archfiend in the Big City | — |
| 85 | 85: Pay No Attention to the Gigantic, Blazing Orb of Pure Power | — |
| 86 | 86: The Privilege of Command | — |
| 87 | 87: The World Leader Starter Pack | — |
| 88 | 88: I'm a [Twinfang Assassin of the Shadowflame Dragon], MOM | — |
| 89 | 89: A Hairless Monkey With a Cluttered Mind | — |
| 90 | 90: You Can’t Choose Your Family, But You CAN Choose to Murder Them | — |
| 91 | 91: There’s Something Weird Going On With the Humans | — |
| 92 | 92: Turns Out the Nexus Bastion Was a Set-Up | — |
| 93 | 93: Royal Rumble | — |
| 94 | 94: There's No Such Thing as a Hope Problem | — |
| 95 | 95: Never Underestimate a Human’s Capacity for Horrors | — |
| 96 | 96: A Meeting With One of the Bossmen | — |
| 97 | 97: A Hearty Breakfast of Champions | — |
| 98 | 98: Oh Those Pesky Humans | — |
| 99 | 99: And the Horse he Rode in On | — |
| 100 | 100: Okay, it Turns Out That the Horsemen of the Apocalypse are Actually Pretty Good at This | — |
| 101 | 101: You Ain't So Tough With My Boys Around | — |
| 102 | 102: I Ain’t So Tough With Your Boys Around | — |
| 103 | 103: Three Horsemen and One Guy of the Apocalypse | — |
| 104 | 104: They May Have the Skills and Training, but WE Cheated Egregiously! | — |
| 105 | 105: Here Comes the Sun | — |
| 106 | 106: For Some Reason the Humans Are Uncomfortable About Incurring the Wrath of Heaven | — |
| 107 | 107: I’m an Archfiend… With Attitude! | — |
| 108 | 108: Just Think of Earth, but With More Craters | — |
| 109 | 109: Nothing Like Planning a Little Mass-Murder Before Bed | — |
| 110 | 110: A Lil’ Bitty Ember of Damnation | — |
| 111 | 111: You Say ‘Terror Attack’, I say ‘Heistacre’ | — |
| 112 | 112: A Hellfire Surprise | — |
| 113 | 113: The New Meta is Dancing in a Bunker Made Entirely of Hellfire | — |
| 114 | 114: The ‘Back When Al Capone Was Killing People’ Vibe | — |
| 115 | 115: A Little Innocent Blood Never Hurt Anybody! | — |
| 116 | 116: I Knew That War Was Supposed to be Hell, But I Never Realized He Was Supposed to be So Rude | — |
| 117 | 117: The Search for Wholesome Jokes About Starvation and Eating Disorders | — |
| 118 | 118: After This, I’m Basically Exactly as Moral as UNICEF, and for the Same Reasons | — |
| 119 | 119: Hopefully We Won’t Get Too Bored Watching Humans Kill Each Other | — |
| 120 | 120: Lessons on How Better to Manipulate Humanity’s Bossmen | — |
| 121 | 121: This Would Be Better if we All Got Theme Music | — |
| 122 | 122: What is it Good For? | — |
| 123 | 123: Absolutely Nothing | — |
| 124 | 124: I Did It! | — |
| 125 | 125: Meetings First, Dopamine Later | — |
| 126 | 126: The Unquenchable Joy of Data Entry | — |
| 127 | 127: In Which Two Forms of Unexpected Combinations Are Themselves Combined Unexpectedly | — |
| 128 | 128: How Do You Do, Fellow Humans? | — |
| 129 | 129: You Think You’ve Got it Bad? | — |
| 130 | 130: The Best Abilities Are the Ones You Make Up | — |
| 131 | 131: Child of Hell | — |
| 132 | 132: A Hop, Skip, and a Jump | — |
| 133 | 133: Why Plan One Invasion When You Can Plan Three Instead? | — |
| 134 | 134: A Hypocrite | — |
| 135 | 135: I Need Bling That Tells Time… and Also Jesus | — |
| 136 | 136: I’ve Never Been to a Fireworks Show Before! | — |
| 137 | 137: Who Taught this Dragon Overlord how to Play Tower Defenses? | — |
| 138 | 138: She Protec, She Attac, But Most Importantly She Brought Snacks | — |
| 139 | 139: Nothing Says ‘Boss’ Like a Dragon Launching Spells From the Top of a Palatial Brutalist Pyramid | — |
| 140 | 140: My Boomtown is Bigger | — |
| 141 | 141: With Friends Like These, It’s a Shock I’ve Still Got Living Enemies! | — |
| 142 | 142: Fortunately For Me, Dragons Happen to be Made of MEAT | — |
| 143 | 143: Putting in a Word Upstairs | — |
| 144 | 144: Say It With Me, Kids: UPGRADE! | — |
| 145 | 145: The Hand That Mocked Them | — |
| 146 | 146: With Spells Like These, I Should Get Better Spells | — |
| 147 | 147: The Most Crucial Event in the Timeline was… Oh My. | — |
| 148 | 148: Concerning Big Things VS Little Things | — |
| 149 | 149: This Wolfhard Rejects Just Being Another One of the Herd | — |
| 150 | 150: Dinner With the Wolfhards | — |
| 151 | 151: Admit it: You Have to be a Bit of an Edgelord to Pick Black | — |
| 152 | 152: Making Realistic Plans for the Future | — |
| 153 | 153: If There’s One Thing I Know, it’s That I’d Make a Great Psychologist | — |
| 154 | 154: This is Exactly the Kind of BS That Santa Never Had to Deal With | — |
| 155 | 155: Outer Markets, Like Most Things, Are Best Enjoyed While Rich | — |
| 156 | 156: Someday, Kylie, We’ll Find You a Plane Populated by Nothing But Medium and Large-Sized Dogs | — |
| 157 | 157: The Perks of Imprisoning Your Family in Glowing Gemstones | — |
| 158 | 158: The Lich | — |
| 159 | 159: I Just Want to Say One Word to You—Just One Word: Plastics | — |
| 160 | 160: The Only Thing Stranger Than the Advertisements Here… Are the Humans | — |
| 161 | 161: Small Cosmos, or Big Treachery? Honestly, it Could Even be Both | — |
| 162 | 162: If There’s One Thing I Know, it’s That Human Hell is Full of Italians | — |
| 163 | 163: An Audience With Lisa Frank’s Favorite Flock of Birds | — |
| 164 | 164: Your Soul, Your Choice | — |
| 165 | 165: Dazel | — |
| 166 | 166: Everyone Involved Here is Clearly Very Sane | — |
| 167 | 167: The Battle of the Extremely Sane Tier 5s | — |
| 168 | 168: Once I Pull My Intestines Back In, I’m Definitely Gonna Get To the Bottom of This | — |
| 169 | 169: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too | — |
| 170 | 170: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too Two | — |
| 171 | 171: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too Three | — |
| 172 | 172: The Advantages of Having Dated a Narcissistic Jerk | — |
| 173 | 173: We Are Never Going to be Done With This “Saved a Million Babies” Thing, Are We? | — |
| 174 | 174: Basically, We Now Have a MUCH Clearer Picture of the Fact That We Have No Idea What’s Going On | — |
| 175 | 175: The Real Problem is How Astoundingly Perfect I Am | — |
| 176 | 176: The Trolley Problem, but With More Babies | — |
| 177 | 177: What’s Up, Humongous Fungus? | — |
| 178 | 178: What Do You Mean, You Don’t Speak Black Eyed Peas | — |
| 179 | 179: Is There Anything As Exciting As Finding a Giant, Unexplained Hole in the Middle of Nowhere? | — |
| 180 | 180: Did You Hear Something? Must Have Been the Wind… | — |
| 181 | 181: If I Were in Their Place, I’d be Terrified of Me Too! | — |
| 182 | 182: A Whole New World | — |
| 183 | 183: This is Perhaps the Sassiest Cache of Hidden Equipment in All the Cosmos | — |
| 184 | 184: If a Chuuni Smirks, But No-one is Around to See it… | — |
| 185 | 185: The Best Signal Flares Are Visible From Space | — |
| 186 | 186: Where Once There Were Gazebos, Now Lies Only Ruin | — |
| 187 | 187: Back in Hell, We Call This Sort of Thing a “Civil Disagreement” | — |
| 188 | 188: Am I REALLY the Most Famous Person Ever If Noone Knows Anything About Me? | — |
| 189 | 189: It’s Just Like Sun Tzu Was Always Saying… | — |
| 190 | 190: Is That An Everyday Hostile Shape—Or A Gateway to New Powers and the Secrets of Old Humanity? | — |
| 191 | 191: It’s Time to Farm Harder Than a Depressed Person Playing Stardew Valley | — |
| 192 | 192: The Truth Will Set Us Free! And Maybe Collapse the Social Order—But Hey, That’s Freedom For You | — |
| 193 | 193: Don’t Panic! But Also, All the Most Powerful People in the Cosmos Are Out to Get You | — |
| 194 | 194: My Nuke Isn’t Nearly as Contraband if it Comes Packaged as a Wheelbarrow of Hearts | — |
| 195 | 195: This Dimensional Assassin Also Doubles as an Exploratory Haunch of Meat | — |
| 196 | 196: A Great Idea for a Sitcom | — |
| 197 | 197: So She Likes Dogs, Schoolboys, and Explosions, You Say… | — |
| 198 | 198: You Can’t Transmute Hydrogen Into Anti-Hydrogen For a Pittance of Mana, Disappointingly | — |
| 199 | 199: Back on Earth, We Call This Scenario a “Boss Fight” | — |
| 200 | 200: Now You’re Cooking With Eldritch Abominations | — |
| 201 | 201: This Humanitarian Librarian Is Way Too Demanding | — |
| 202 | 202: If We Ghost the Archival Spirit, Then We Sort of Have to Un-Ghost the Government of Earth | — |
| 203 | 203: Well Look Who Still Has the Most Enviable Job in the Military | — |
| 204 | 204: A Haphazard Accounting of Just How Stupid People Can Be | — |
| 205 | 205: We’ve Found Her Weakness, and It’s That She Has No Idea What She’s Doing | — |
| 206 | 206: Archival Spirit in the Big City | — |
| 207 | 207: A Brief History of Humans | — |
| 208 | 208: Having Stats Just Means it Can be Killed, Though! | — |
| 209 | 209: Option Paralysis is Just a Less Friendly Way of Saying You’re Spoiled for Choice | — |
| 210 | 210: As Helpless to Friendship as the Rest of Them | — |
| 211 | 211: The Most Hardworking Lich I Know | — |
| 212 | 212: Nothing Feels Quite Like Being the Senate, You Know? | — |
